Building the Blasian Baby Community

There's lots of "behind the scenes" activity happening at Blasian Baby Notes. Besides the couples and families interviews, I'm working on other projects that will hopefully bring a wider awareness about the asian black community.

For example, maybe you caught sight of the new faces in the sidebar? Yup, I've harassed until they gave in...umm... I mean encouraged other moms of blasian children to join me in blogging here. I'm also trying to get a dad of a blasian child to join us in blogging here...so far it's still a work in progress. LOL

But for my current... please welcome the other moms to the blogging community. I won't get into their background and life stories cause if I did....then what would they have to blog about! I will say that both women are supportive of my idea to promote a positive image of the asian and black community.

Yes I'm still part of the Sweet Rice Chronicles and strongly support more black mothers of half asian children having an online voice. But I also want to give a voice to the other mothers and fathers (hopefully) with Asian and Black children.

As moms and dads of children with asian and black heritage, we want to spread awareness of our children and their unique community. We have the same fears and joys as other parents of mono-racial children. Hopefully by providing more voices on the Blasian Baby blog we can start to

1. Break down stereotypes

2. Spread awareness of the Asian Black Community and Families

3. Collectively find and share resources that benefit our community.

I hope my ideas will catch on and get the support it needs! I'm excited to share my different plans to have different cultures come together with one goal...building up the blasian baby community!

Passing On Ancestral Energy

Todays blog is a bit different since it deal more with me and not something cute and adorable Daniel has done. I don't think some of my readers will understand where I'm coming from but I know one or two will get me and the point of this blog.

Writing about this topic came to me while thinking over current convos my mother and I had. Being the over bearing grandma, my mom worries about Daniel being in daycare. I keep explaining that he'll adjust fine. If anything she should worry about the daycare. Since my son is no shrinking wallflower I know he socializes on and off during the day. I once again explain this to my mom...who thinks he's sitting in a corner crying and lonely. Yet again I point out my son strong personality reminding her of all the times he's stood up for himself in the playground.

These convos always lead to her saying she doesn't know who he takes after. She always comments that I was such a quiet child. I always chuckle to myself because my mom refuses to see our family traits in Daniel or for that matter in me. My mom forgets how she told stories of being the aggressive child that was always fighting or how she was always the one brave enough to try some new adventure. How is it that she can't see that she passed those genes on...

In my case it's probably cause my fathers genes are more dominant. My dad is a cool and collected type of man. Thus, I tend to have a cool sort of anger. I'm not the stand there and get loud type. Not that I can't or haven't, but I prefer to vent my anger in other ways and with results. But my mother's fiery angry genes are within me...as well as all the warrior type genes from my ancestors before her.

Naturally this mean that I have now passed those genes on to Daniel. I clearly see where he takes after me. But I clearly see where Daniel also takes after his father. I'm not too happy with some of these facts.

All this transferring of ancestral energy is kinda important because I believe that we carry that energy with us thru life. All the sorrow and joys of our family is passed on somehow to the next generation. Adding to this is the fact that as a black women I also carry the energy of my people...and all that it means.

I don't know if Daniel's dad carried the energy of his family with him. There is alot I don't know about Daniel dads life and history. Since Daniel's dad was adopted he carried around his own confused and angry energy on a different level them mine.

So now my son is filled with energy from his parents, from his ancestors and from his own actions as he goes thru life. But so far this energy shows it self as being more on the aggressive side. At first I thought it was just a child wanting his way but I'm realizing that this child that gets angry quickly and then hits or scratches is my child. This is who he is...

I'm left with the dilemma of what to do. He's still very young so some forms of discipline are not appropriate while other don't really send the msg I want to send. See alot of people deal with a child actions at that moment. I'm trying to reach my son so I can affect him for the rest of his life. It is not his fault he was born with aggressive energy...as it wasn't my fault I was born with the same...BUT I want to start teaching him that he can choose to work on it and become his own person.

It's taken me years and lots of work to get to the point where I am now. At the time no one had the answers so they could not help me. So, I was a very unhappy and angry child, teenager and young women. I lost years being wrapped up in the energy passed on to me until I stumbled on the answers that lead me to a different way of being.

As he grows I can only hope that all I've learned and will share will help Daniel to live a better life. Yes, a life better then his parents but also a life that helps soothe and comfort his ancestors on both sides so when it's his time to start his own family he can pass on positive ancestral energy.

First Day Adventures in Daycare

The long planned for and dreaded big day is here! Daniel is starting daycare today. Now I know I’m suppose to be proud my son is moving along in his developmental goals. I know I’m suppose to be excited about getting some "me" time to just ... breathe. After all doesn't the plan to complete my goals start with this one big step? So why was I holding back tears while riding the A train this morning.

The morning started off fine. I woke up early enough to make a full breakfast plus tripled check diapers, wipes, change of clothing and the stacks of paperwork are in order. Even though I had major anxiety about what to expect today... things went smoothly. Daniel went thru his morning rountine, eat his breakfast and even some of mine. LOL. We headed out the house and arrived at the daycare with no problems.

Matter of fact Daniel walked up in there like it's his usual hangout spot. As I talked to the daycare staff and manager, Daniel talked to the other babies in the room. He was so busy talking to them that he barely kissed me bye when it was my time to leave. This kid!

I think that was what started my icky feeling. When I left I had all this tension from expecting the drama of my son holding on to my legs, crying for his life... snot and all... while the daycare workers firmly pushed me out the door. I would then stand there racked with guilt about abandoning my only child while I pursue financial gain. Yeah I know! But this is the scence mothers have in our minds. Who tells us that our child might just *gasp* like daycare. Shucks!

So there I sat on the train heading towards my HRA Back to Work Class... holding back tears. I tried to tell myself I should be grateful things went smoothly. Clearly, I'm raising a child who tackles new experinces so well because he's well adjusted and confident. But while things were smooth for Daniel it wasn't smooth for me internally.

The main issue is that Daniel is having all these first important events back to back. Seems every month there is big developments happening. But I'm the only one bearing the emotional and mental strain of it.

Daniel was a planned project to be handled by two people. These two people, called parents, are suppose to support and encourge each other during these key momemts in the projects, called a child, lifes course. At least that's my understanding of the "lets make a baby" presentation I heard before I signed on for this project!

Today at daycare I should have been the crying frantic mother who is comforted by the calm and proud father. I should have the opportunity to fully feel the loss of my son's babyhood as he wobbles towards being a toddler. But when your a single parent there is no split. You have to be both parts...both parents...the male and the female. May sound very sad for me but I keep in my mind the good thing about taking on both roles. I think of that well adjusted child who didn't have time to kiss me goodbye because... he was to busy enjoying his first day at daycare

Frustration at the Local Library

NYC libraries usually has tons of events happening at local libraries. Or at least that’s what the calendar says is suppose to happen. But after visiting one of my local area libraries I’m finding that’s not really the deal. Seems unless a real interest is shown then a “scheduled” event might not happen.

Take for example the story time that was scheduled for today. Since no one showed up...besides me and Daniel...then it was a "no go" due to lack of people. The librarian suggested we should instead attend the RIF program on a Thursday afternoon. Hmm. So we signed up for that but really it’s not what I was looking for. Once again this library has disappointed me.

Then I ask if this library could use the American Baby/ Baby Talk magazines I no longer need. The library clerk explained there really isn’t a circulation need for them. I got the feeling she didn’t think any of the women/mothers in this area would read them. Mind you, in this area city project building are found in ever direction you look. I’ve seen tons of babies being carried around. I know the info found in these magazines would be helpful and is needed by this mothering community. But again the lack of community interest directs what is considered needed for library services.

Despite these two incidents my true frustration at the library happened as we were leaving. One of the female security guards wanted to play with Daniel. Since Daniel chose to just walk right over to her so she can pick him up…what can I do. I gotta find a way to teach him not to do that. It freaks me out and puts me in a bad position to say…please don’t touch my son.

Anyway, Daniel goes over, she picks him up, kisses him on his cheek (cringe) and then starts the Q and A with me. Thankfully her questions started with his name, how old he was and is he my first. So I answered her and said yes he’s my first and most likely only. Why did I say that?! Dammit, I left an opening for dialogue.

This lady says to me...are you sure? That’s selfish of you. You should have more so he has someone to grow up with.

WTH! Don’t I already have enough guilt about him being an only child?! If she only knew what it took me to have this one she might think twice about suggesting I have another.

Dreaming of Blue Hawaii

While packing to move I thought what would life be like living in Hawaii? I know a few people who either lived there in the past or are currently living there.

To start Hawaii has perfect weather, beautiful scenery and yummy food. Then Hawaii has a diverse racial and cultural background which makes it an good place to raise children....moreso one of mixed Asian heritage.

But the fact that Hawaii lacks a strong selection of West Indian restaurants...where I can get bake and saltfish...gave this "move to Hawaii" idea major pause. Still it would be a nice place to visit.

Helping to Change Views on Asian Black Unions

A few days ago I talked a little about my ex and shared a blog post that explains why we're not together anymore.  I also shared it with my facebook community.  They left some interesting comments.

I responded by saying

Thank you ladies, it's true i don't "have" to explain but I chose to. People are misguided on info about asian black couples and families. They think all asian black unions are filled with drama and negativity because of race. But not everything is about racial conflict. Sometime it's just normal man and women stuff. By being open about my life and the situation with Daniel's dad my aim is to show things in a different positive light.

But I want to expand this thought a little bit more here. Since this is a public blog many different people have access to the info. I'd like to help them develop alternative views of Asian and Black couples and families besides what's showed in the media and online.


There will always be men and women conflicts no matter what race they're in.  Since I am a black women who date interracially all types of men... including asian...i can speak on this subject first hand.  I notice that the media like to portray black women as down and out single mothers who were used, abused and abandoned by their men.  The tone is that we're not desirable as long term mates and will end up alone.  Add to the recipe any interracial male... more so an asian male...and the outcome is beyond bleak. Asian males dating a black females is like seeing a flying pig.  Something considered freakishly rare.  

The only main stream article that address this type of union mentions it as a last ditch effort on the side of asian men who have lost their asian women to white asian dating and who can't get white women to date them...for whatever reason.  So to save themselves from leading a life of loneliness they have no choice except to date and possible marry  *gasp* a black women.

Now, I have a sick sense of humor and enjoy reading these types of articles like I enjoy reading the Star magazine.  Good fiction is hard to find after all.

See, in the world I live and date in it's quite a different story. Sure there are some black women who have relationship problems...but all races have women like this.  Sure there are some asian men who will never date or marry a black women due to community and cultural pressures...but again what race doesn't have men like this?

What's not highlighted or featured in these article and research on interracial dating are the many couples and families that do bridge the racial gaps and are happy.  I've made it my business to seek out and follow these families so I could learn the truth from the people living it...not from people speculating about it.

As for my own life as a black female who has dated, married and divorced an asian male.  I can honestly say any issues within the relationship have more to do with him not picking up his socks then with the shape of his eyes.  Sometimes men and women are just that...men and women dealing with mars and venus issues. Asian and black couples and families are just that... regular couples and families.  Get to know my community and you'll see =)

Haters, Me and My Blasian Baby

Notice the title of this blog? I'm going to talk about haters or to use the correct term people who are jealous.  Now the jealous mentality is not something I truly understand or even worry about. I mean come on... anything someone else has that your wanting...you can get. 

I don't understand how you can take a look at someone else and dislike them because you feel your lacking in something.  Get off your butt and do something so you can be proud that you now also have something.  Now what does all of this have to do with me and Daniel?

Well today I have an interesting "is that your baby" story to share.  I'm thinking of giving these stories their own section. LOL.  So I drag my brother to the supermarket with me.  We did the shopping and now we're heading to the checkout.  As I'm scanning the cashiers so I can avoid the one from the last supermarket "is that your baby" incident, I start telling my brother the story.  But being a man...all of 19...he just picks one and wait for the cashier to ring up the total. Since he's has the stroller with Daniel I'm right behind him. I hear the cashier start the banter of oh what a cute baby, so adorable and finally the "is that your baby"?

I'll save you the play by play but at one point she says "oh he looks chinese' and my brother explains it's his korean/black nephew. This is his sister's son. Mind you I'm there giving her the evil eye cause I know she's seen me with Daniel before!  I'm in that supermarket ALL the time. Anyway, do you know even after my brother has clearly explained everything, homegirl still says my son is chinese and thinks it's a joke! 

So I sucked my teeth...loudly...take the stroller and go off to the side to wait for my brother to finish up his flirting convo. I'm so pissed cause I don't know why people ask questions but don't want to accept the answers.

Once back home I hop on my twitter and my face book to share my story.  Of course my mommy friends on face book started adding their experinces and a dialogue was started. During the back and forth someone said the cashier was just hatn on me. At first I didn't agree but the more I thought about it and how negative the reactions are after I say "yes he's my baby" it kinda made sense.

But I still wonder why?  If these women want their own half asian babies then they should do something about it. There are billions of asian men around. They can just grab one and make her own blasian baby. Then hopefully they can stop hatn on me for mine and let me enjoy my day!

Reading is Fundamental

From infancy till now I have always read to Daniel. He loved hearing my voice and looking at the pictures. I enjoyed introducing him to one of my favorite habits. I love books and being a reader I'd love to develop the love of reading within my son.

At first I would read anything to him, the newspaper, the baby/parenting magazines articles, labels on baby products. LOL, Whatever was available at the time. I read somewhere that all that reading would help him develop his hearing and speech skills. Dunno know if all my reading did all the good they say but I did notice that Daniel enjoyed all that reading attention. He would follow my lips first and then later the pictures in the magazine. He would always smile at the baby pictures. I thought that was funny.

Now that he’s older he’s more active and involved during our reading sessions. Now he likes to help turn the pages, tries to touch the “characters” on the pages and even adds his own commentary on the story. I guess he feels story time should be interactive. LOL. In truth I enjoy his input. It good to know that my son wants to connect with me during that time.

Blasian Baby Notes is PR famous...Sorta

While checking links and back links I noticed that this blog was getting some PR loving.  How cool is that considering I didn't even try for any of it.  

http://abrahamharrison.com/thank-you-snuggle-cr-me-bloggers 

Look I'm #18

http://www.womanist-musings.com/2009/04/drop-it-like-its-hot_25.html 

My "Blasian Manual For “Some” White Women" was included

I'm sure some people are wondering how can someone who isn't a big time mom blogger... much less someone who even blogs regularly... get that kinda press.  Well...it could be my cute smile...no? don't agree?  

In truth it all started a few months when I joined the Mommy Bloggers Club .  I didn't do anything special, just replied to some discussion, made some new blog friends and tried being an active member of that community.  From there I started getting email pitches from PR firms or directly from the company themselves to feature their product.  Some I turned down due to lack of time, interest and cause they didn't match me...one firm wanted to send me baby girl stuff...duh, I have a boy!

For the PR firms I've made time to work with it's been great! Yeah, I get to review cool stuff, go to cool events and meet some high profile people but that's not my aim in working with PR firms or directly with major companies.  I've come to understand that unless I give a wider voice to the Asian Black / Blasian community I'm representing online... this community will remain hidden to the masses. 

There's a saying that you can't see beyond what's in front of you. For the sake of my son and the other black and asian mothers raising blasian children, I have to see beyond my community so that our voice can be hard and our images can be seen.

How Hard is Buying a Stroller?

After doing some online research I went back to Target and bought the Cosco Umbria Stroller with Canopy based on price and the fancy description on the box. I can't understand why Target didn't have a display model for me to try out. Since the local target is just a 10 min bus ride I figured I can bring home, try it out and then decide to keep or return. The verdict?

What a disappointment that stroller turnout out to be. As I set it up I my first thought was...Daniel can't fit in this! The seating area was way to short for my son's chunky tush and legs. What will happen in a few months when he goes thru another growth spurt? He'll be standing! I dunno what child they think will fit in there! So I packed it back up and put it aside to be returned. Not happy that I have to go back stroller shopping

Today I went back to Target, returned the stroller and promptly went over to Babies R Us. I did a quick check thru to see if anything has changed or gone on sale. I took another look at the umbrella strollers but still didn't like them. My son is a solid baby and needs support not just canvas wrapped on a frame. So I finally decided to buy the Especially for Kids TrendSport Stroller I was eyeing the day before.

After a quick check over everything one last time, I sped thru check out and was on the way back home excited to test it out. Once home my testing stage started with having to put the stroller together...sorta. But again a quick and easy setup to attached wheels, stroller tray and canopy and it was ready. Snapping Daniel into the stroller worked simple enough with no immediate issues or tantrums.

So we headed off to the supermarket where we squeezed into narrow isles, made sharp turns to avoid shopping carts, used the basket to hold a variety of food goodies and finally after check out we exited thru the bars. Side note about this...my other stroller was to big to fit and I would always have to tip the stroller back so I could wheel it under and thru. Not something enjoyable when you have a stroller full of grociews. Not anymore...this stroller was the right width to just roll through. Woot, woot!

As Daniel and I did the smooth and easy return stroll back home, we were both pleased...him with more room to wiggle around as he took in the sites...me with finding something within my budget that is lighweight and portable but still sturdy enough to survive the brooklyn streets.

The Blasian Manual for *Some* White Women

This manual came about after repeating dealing with comments and attitudes from *some* white women who for better lack of words are ignorant about the asian black community aka the blasian community. Since I'm one of the bold ones who promote this community across the racial war lines then I hear, see and have to deal with some *ahem* interesting comments and attitudes. Well now I have to way to educated *some* white women and save them from making the very bad mistake of getting on my last never and thus getting told off and put back into their place.

You see it's not my aim to alienate *some* white women or to threaten them with a virtual beat down. I'm really a peace loving women who's trying to gain info and spread the love by being in online communities that highlight families that are half asian . But *some* white women seem to feel the need to speak out of turn and make some interesting statements. For these woman this manual is here for you. Lets start!

1. First, before trying to say anything about the blasian community please educate yourself. Goggle is your friend (goggle results for term blasian) and so is wikipedia (wikipedia results for term blasian). Please use your computer skills to do some web research 
 

2. Second, please refrain from sayn that couples, children and families within this community are so "rare and special". This comment will only make it seem like your socially stunted and you'll be the cause of great amusement to the blasian couples, children and families you made this comment to. 
 

3. Third, Do not, I repeat do not tell a black or asian mother with a blasian child...your a mom just like me and I totally undertand what it's like to rasie a half asian child. I know you have good intentions and want to bond but WE ARE NOT MOMS JUST LIKE YOU plus HALF BLACK AND ASIAN KIDS ARE DIFFERENT THEN HALF WHITE AND ASIAN KIDS. Please understand this is no offense to you or your children but this is the reality. Our kids are not the same because their half asian. Trust me when I say this and you'll save yourself from being yelled at. 
   
 

4. Fourth, and I hate to point this out but it needs to be done. Understand that asking a black/asian mother you see outside and feel the need to randomly stop and start questioning...if she's the babysitter, an adoptee or the step mom is not something to be done in the first conversation, 20th or ever.
   
   Even if they are an adoptee or step parent it's none of your business nor your place to ask. And the follow-up comment about how asian, black, mixed, whatever the child looks compared to the parent is also a big no-no. Once again if your having hard time understanding how genetics work please use our frienfd google to do some research on genetics 
 

5. Fifth, If a black/asain mother doesn't wish to discuss her background, her child heritage or anything about her husband, her life, or what she's having for lunch...do not be quick to assume and boldly tell her she's being defensive or has an attitude. We have the right to our privacy and don't have to talk to you...if we choose. Your not entitled to know anything about another person's life.
 

6. Our sixth helpful tip is very important so pay attention. If you see the id euphorialuv while your surfing around the web, interracial asian forum or mixed korean group and feel the need to say hello then say hello BUT if you feel the need to point out how white women are being reversal discriminatation and shut out because of the promotion of the black and asian community I strongly suggest you don't do it. I repeat don't do it and here's why. 

Mostly likely euphoria luv aka Nikki...which is me...will get very angry and turn into the black she hulk of the asian black community. Very quickly after that I will point out how selfish and self absorbed you are to have the nerve to accused me of reverse discrimination for wanting to be with other black and asian people who date interracial. Can't a sister have something of her own that doesn't involved an "white" element?! Further you will only infuriate the black she hulk state of mind if you mention that I am

"part of the race problem and unless you have another reason for looking for blacks/asians that I haven’t fathomed, I’d like to be a part of your group even though my skin isn’t black... "

Yeah, someone wrote that to me.

So these are just some quick helpful tips to help *some* white women learn and understand more about the asian black aka blasian community and to save me from giving virtual beat downs. Don't worry ladies, there's lots more tips that I'll be sure to add to this list so keep you notepads and pencil in easy reach. Thank you for reading!

Quick checkin and status update

hey folks, i know i'm behind on my post..but i'm sick have some pity on me. baby and I are currently sniffling and sneezing and a bit achy but otherwise ok. this cold doesn't seem to be taking a tole on us...well on baby anyway..i'm ready to crawl under the covers and sleep the day away.

but baby has other ideas. he currently being social with my niece and cousin who's visiting this week since there's no school. oh joy. not!

anyway, i'm off to get some soup and then edit photos...i always have bunches from our adventures...and then try to update...somewhere, showhow...cause I have lot to share =)

My First Twitter Mommy Playdate

As most people know, I love meeting new people and use the internet to feed my social stalking needs.  One of my recent social networking led me to Carol or as she's known on the web NYCityMama. We soon became fast friends since we're both moms to biracial sons. But our passion for running around the city seeing sights and tasting testing foods so we can blog about it later...that is what has really bonded us.  

One day while tweeting about a mom meetup I was trying to organize Carol mentioned she wanted to be part of the mommy meetup also. After a quick round of DM's and a promise of Dominican lunch when we visit... Carol and I had plans for a playdate.

The day started cloudy with rain storms due in the afternoon. Ugh. Then Daniel started acting up when it came time to get dressed. Which of course made us run late. Since we had to go all the way uptown timing was a problem. Ugh. But I was determined to see Carol and family. I wasn't going to miss my first twitter mommy meetup! 

When we finally arrived we were warmly greeted by Carol and her youngest son like we were family coming over and not total internet strangers. Carol even helped me carry my super heavy stroller up the stair since the building doesn't have an elevator. Once up stairs Daniel and I quickly made ourselves very comfortable in Carols home. Carol and her boys...who were very excited to see baby...took turns holding and playing with Daniel while I found the nearest coach to lounge on.  

It's like we've known them for years. The boys shared their toys with Daniel and made sure to play nice with him.  They even posed to take photos with Daniel whenever I took the camera out. LOL. These boys are not only handsome but also funny! They kept speaking to me in Spanglish. Which confused me until I figured it out. I was like hey! those are Spanish words. LOL

Soon it was time to eat! On the way to the Dominican restaurant we laughed and talked like old friends. Inside Carol was amazing. I don't know how she kept up our conversations while dishing out food for everyone, answering questions from one son and catching food her other decided to spit out. LOL.  BTW, the Dominican food was yummy.  Even Daniel enjoyed eating a little of everything.

On the way back the boys, riding side by side in the strollers, kept talking to each other and so did the moms. Carol is not afraid to talk about any topic silly or serious.  We covered racial preduices within our families, within the mommy community and within ourselves.  Even though we're from different racial backgrounds our concerns as mothers and as minority women are the same.  It was cool to talk to someone who could understand the things I worry about. 

But better then all that...Carol introduced me to TweetDeck to help me manage my tweets better as I enlarge my social twitter domain.  * content sigh about meeting another techie*  Soon we had to go travel back to brooklyn so we said our goodbyes, gave kisses and promise to have another playdate soon!

My Little Babbling Tower of Babel

This morning Daniel woke up with alot to say. Seems his dreams was very exciting and he felt I needed to know all about his adventures. LOL. As I listened to him babble away I thought about how far his babbling has come since those first coos and ahhs. Even from a few months ago his babbling is very different.

Yesterday, my sister and brother were bugging me about when he's going to talk. I was like...What? He's already talking. Can't you hear?

Seems they can't. I guess since I'm the one listening to him 24 hours a day I'm the only one to notice the difference in his babbling.  Daniel can whisper secrets, yell when he's annoyed or ask a question all in babble. He's also very fluent in body language like reaching when he wants something, raising his arms to be picked up or throwing his body back and down when he's mad.  I'm not a fan of that move but it's very clear what he thinking. It's weird to me that others can't figure it out.

Recently Daniel was asking my sister about something.  He kept repeating the same phrase over and over again and looking at her.  I could see the confusion and growing frustration on his face. He must have thought to himself...why isn't she getting it.  I'm speaking clearly! LOL

But between me and you I find the words not as exciting as the sounds he makes. No one blogs about the pre-word sounds which is a shame cause their so interesting.  

Daniel has gone thru so many interesting versions on the Mama and Dada norm.  He's currently on his Ba stage...not baba..just plain Ba.  He also does something I affectionally refer to as fish talking.  It's like making fish lips with a soft pa pa sound.  I have a vid of him doing it I need to upload to YouTube.  Then there's the Mmmmm. He has about 5 different types of Mmm's each meaning something different.

Many people think babies communicate when they finally say their first words. But all parents know babies have been communicating since birth or even while in the womb. I sorta got the feeling of what Daniel liked or didn't like when I was pregnant and alot has remained the same.  So to me he has always been "talking" even without the first official words.

MomDot Brag about Your Blog Day

Today on twitter MomDot invite everyone to brag about our blogs. Well of course I had to surf over. It's true I have not updated this blog recently but I still have lots to brag about. I'm amazed anyone still vists here and leaves me comments. 

But I have to say, it's a great feeling to know something as simple as this blog and my kooky thoughts can have such a powerful effect on other people. That was what I wrote about during my 5 seconds of fame. I re-posted my comment below.

I love SO many things about my blogs Blasian Baby Notes and Daniels 365

First I love that their mini memory book for the events in my son’s life. Children grow so much in the first year of their life that you can’t keep up with everything…unless you have a blog.

Second, I love that visitors to my blogs form a community in some many different ways. I never thought having a biracial child would be the main connection with me and so many moms and dads. Since my son is black and asian = blasian, I have an automatic connection to those two communities. But I’m also connected to any person black, asian, white, hispanic, etc that loves children and cares about the issues that affect them.

Lastly, thru my blogs I become a voice… an activist… a face for black mothers who date, marry and raise families that step outside the mainstream norm of what is expected of us.

Viva la difference!

The Juggling Struggle Continues

Today I wanted to really work on putting together all the techie stuff for my business blog and website. Sadly I kinda got off to a rocky start and it set the tone for the rest of the day...sorta. First I woke up late...around 5am which is 2 hours past my 3am daily wakeup. That meant I only had 2 hours to get some techie stuff done before Daniel woke up and the day started. Of course you know those two hours went by very quickly.

By then Daniel was wake and I had to juggle eating, changing, and cuddling him with visiting other mommy blogs, adding different blog buttons, and setting up my profiles on different sites. Then there was still my regular life stuff to juggle also.

By the afternoon Daniel started throwing tantrums because he couldn't understand why mommy wasn't playing with him like I did before. From then till now...around 6pm he cried and cried and cried. *sigh* Nothing beyond stopping and giving him full attention would calmed him. But I didn't want to lose my momentum with setting things up. At one point I held him while trying to type comments and emails. Whatever it took to keep going. Eventually his bed time came and I was able to put him down and write this blog. It was a struggle but at least I started somethings.

Understanding Unsolicited Advice

Today we visited my old office and co-workers. They were more excited to see Daniel then to see me. In true co-mothers and co-fathers style they played with Daniel while nagging me.

Daniel with YoungMi (korean), who felt Daniel shouldn't be carried in the back position because it's not good for him. He needs to be in the front so I can comfort and protect him. Plus point: She felt he has sexy lips. She didn't say "black" lips but I knew she meant that. LOL

Daniel with Thomas (korean), who asked me why I dress Daniel like a big boy...with shoes and all. Then he wanted to know if Daniel can walk and proceeded to try and see. Plus point: Offered the use of the Hanbok again for when Daniel turns 1 year.

Daniel with Sue (chinese), who felt Daniel might be cold and needed to rest instead of running around town with me. Plus point: Said Daniel looks more like me now and loves his bright shiny eyes...and of course his hair (which is still wavy ).

I spent most my time defending and explaining why this and why that. But I've learned to take all the co-paranting in stride with a smile. I use to wonder why people can't see that I'm a good mom and stop giving advice. I secretly worried that they saw some deficiency in me I couldn't see.


But I came to understand that really they just care and want to help. Plus no matter if I had a baby or not my Asian friends will always give input on something.  It's their culture...sorta like how west indians and most "black" cultures always want to feed people.

Learning to give baby space

So today I made another baby step away from being an overprotective mom...you don't know about the other steps cause I haven't blogged them yet...My sister Addy has tried to take Daniel with her on trips every since he was born.  I always told her I'm not the "take my baby please" type of mom like my other sister Gabby.  My niece was left with Gabby's friends and different family members whenever my sister felt like it. I'm not like that one bit.  

I've been with Daniel from day one. I never let Daniel travel without me no matter what.  There has been a few times, when I was going thru the HRA back to work programs, he's had to travel with Gabby cause she was babysitting him but I called her all day  and made sure she brought him home ASAP.

But today when Addy asked to take him with her while visiting Essense ( her friend who's son is also Daniel's age) I took a deep breath and said OK.  It took a moment for her to realize I said yes and she kept asking...really?, really? LOL

I decided to trust my instinct as a mother that Daniel can start having time away from me again. Also I know Essence and her son Darryl so I know he'll be relatively safe.  So, I allowed my sister to take charge of Daniel.  I kept my fussing under control as she took out his clothes and got him ready. I think she was a bit nervous about making sure I felt he was warm enough cause she over dressed him a bit. LOL.  I packed the diaper bag, added some food and bottles for later and then stepped back...sorta. I did follow them to the bus stop but only because it was snowing.  My sister used the Snuggle to carry Daniel in but still I wanted to be there  in case...this is her first time ya know.

Later I called Addy to check in...give me some credit, I held off as long as I could...and received a favorable report. Daniel eat his food, drank both his bottles, gave her a poop present and fell asleep. He was fussing a little bit but I'm confident Addy will figure it out.

Now what did I do with all my free time you ask? Duh, I blogged...while waiting for my son's return :)

For the Love of Fruit

So this morning I noticed that Daniel's eyes are a bit puffy and he had little red blotches on his face.  I knew right away that he had an allergic reaction to the fruit I feed him yesterday. The fruit was a mixture of peaches, oatmeal and bananas (with apple juice as a blender).

Pete (Daniel's Dad) is allergic to apples, peaches and some other types of fruit.  I'm not allergic to any fruit.  I hoped that Daniel would take after me but wasn't sure...so I exposed him to little taste test of fruit here and there to see.  For the most part he was ok...well except that he hated peaches for some reason. *shrug*

Anyway, I think while a little amount of single fruit is fine having something with mixed fruit in it caused a strong reaction.  I remember that Pete said eating fruit would cause him to have breathing problems also, so after seeing Daniel I immediately threw out the remaining jars of fruit and vowed to stick to veggies until he's older and I can figure out if he's allergic to all fruits or just certain ones.

I didn't want to call his ped cause she would probably recommend Benadryl and I didn't want to medicate him if it wasn't serious. I watched Daniel for the rest of the day to see if he was going to get worse but by afternoon his face cleared up and by nightime his eyes were less puffy. I feel bad he won't be able to enjoy some fruit.

Sometimes boobies win

So for the morning nap I decided to carryover the night "cry it out" training into daytime. When I saw Daniel getting sleepy I moved him into the bedroom where it's quiet and the light are subdued. I started to nurse him and when I noticed he starting to nod off I shifted him into the playard. I sat next to him on the bed and waited for the crying to start. Well he just layed there for a few seconds, smiled at me and then started rolling all over the playard.

*sigh*

OK, so a little activity isn't bad if he needs it to go to sleep right? Well after about 10 minutes I noticed this activity wasn't getting him any closer to sleep...if anything I was the one getting sleepy. So I picked him up and started a second round of nursing. This time I just let him fall asleep fully before I put him back in the playard. I have too many things to try and do today to wait the 45 minutes for him to sleep when I can knock him out in 10 minutes with boobie. I guess we're back to only night time "crying it out" training for now.