Daniel with YoungMi (korean), who felt Daniel shouldn't be carried in the back position because it's not good for him. He needs to be in the front so I can comfort and protect him. Plus point: She felt he has sexy lips. She didn't say "black" lips but I knew she meant that. LOL
Daniel with Thomas (korean), who asked me why I dress Daniel like a big boy...with shoes and all. Then he wanted to know if Daniel can walk and proceeded to try and see. Plus point: Offered the use of the Hanbok again for when Daniel turns 1 year.
Daniel with Sue (chinese), who felt Daniel might be cold and needed to rest instead of running around town with me. Plus point: Said Daniel looks more like me now and loves his bright shiny eyes...and of course his hair (which is still wavy ).
I spent most my time defending and explaining why this and why that. But I've learned to take all the co-paranting in stride with a smile. I use to wonder why people can't see that I'm a good mom and stop giving advice. I secretly worried that they saw some deficiency in me I couldn't see.
But I came to understand that really they just care and want to help. Plus no matter if I had a baby or not my Asian friends will always give input on something. It's their culture...sorta like how west indians and most "black" cultures always want to feed people.
2 comments:
at: March 6, 2009 at 8:34 PM said...
Bless your heart! I know I go through enough insensitivity as the Caucasian adoptive mama of a Chinese daughter. Daniel is ADORABLE!! You just hang in there! You feel free o lament on here any time!
at: August 1, 2009 at 7:49 PM said...
Girl, i just love your positive attitude about getting unsolicited advice! I strive to get to that same place of "calm" and acceptance, as it continues to burn me up when i get advice that i perceive as critical.
It bothers me the most when coming from my in-laws (i.e., "Oh just put a little cereal in his milk.... he'll sleep through the night!" Or, "Oh, why do you have him on a schedule already.... he's just a baby!") Grrrr!!!! I want to just tell folks to hush up and let me take care of MY child... but its usually coming from the elders, and I would never be disrespectful, you know?
I just try to relax, relate, and release (lol) and try to remember that it's usually coming from a good, caring place. *sigh*
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