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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Blasian in the Babytalk/GMA Cover Contest 2009

I finally caving under the pressure to submit Daniel's photo into the Babytalk/Good Morning America cover contest for 2009. Since he was born I've been hearing I need to put him into contests and modeling. I've been taking a strong stance against any of these suggestions. Of course I think my son is adorable and would love for the world to see his ultimate yumminess. But I'm sorta conflicted about pitting babies against each other. After all aren't all babies beautiful in there own way?


Well the answer should be yes. But it seems there's always some study done which supports popular opinion that mixed race babies are the cutest. So can someone tell me why most baby photo contest tend to showoff mono-racial babies?

Is there a mixed race baby photo contest I'm not aware of that I should be entering? Because I'm not 100% on board with pitting my little mixie against single race babies. I don't think you can even offer a fair comparison. I dunno...maybe I just look for issues with everything. After all this is suppose to be a positive and happy thing right? I mean if we get into the finals then we can get some great prizes along with exposure... exposure that will bring the reality of mixed race blasian babies to the masses! *insert diabolic laughter*

But wait...why is my little one the only blasian baby in this contest anyway?! I took some time to check thru the photos of the different babies just to see if I could find another biracial child. Now I could be wrong cause some of those kids gave me pause... racial speaking...but for the sake of my argument I'm going to say I think he was the only black and asian far. I can only hope I can talk another mom of a blasian into entering =) .

I feel entering this contest will be a good thing whether we win or not. If we don't put ourselves and our community out there for society to become aware then our voices and images will remain in the background. What a shame that would be
Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Blasian Manual for *Some* White Women

This manual came about after repeating dealing with comments and attitudes from *some* white women who for better lack of words are ignorant about the asian black community aka the blasian community. Since I'm one of the bold ones who promote this community across the racial war lines then I hear, see and have to deal with some *ahem* interesting comments and attitudes. Well now I have to way to educated *some* white women and save them from making the very bad mistake of getting on my last never and thus getting told off and put back into their place.

You see it's not my aim to alienate *some* white women or to threaten them with a virtual beat down. I'm really a peace loving women who's trying to gain info and spread the love by being in online communities that highlight families that are half asian . But *some* white women seem to feel the need to speak out of turn and make some interesting statements. For these woman this manual is here for you. Lets start!

  1. First, before trying to say anything about the blasian community please educate yourself. Goggle is your friend (goggle results for term blasian) and so is wikipedia (wikipedia results for term blasian). Please use your computer skills to do some web research 
  3. Second, please refrain from sayn that couples, children and families within this community are so "rare and special". This comment will only make it seem like your socially stunted and you'll be the cause of great amusement to the blasian couples, children and families you made this comment to. 
  5. Third, Do not, I repeat do not tell a black or asian mother with a blasian child...your a mom just like me and I totally undertand what it's like to rasie a half asian child. I know you have good intentions and want to bond but WE ARE NOT MOMS JUST LIKE YOU plus HALF BLACK AND ASIAN KIDS ARE DIFFERENT THEN HALF WHITE AND ASIAN KIDS. Please understand this is no offense to you or your children but this is the reality. Our kids are not the same because their half asian. Trust me when I say this and you'll save yourself from being yelled at. 
  7. Fourth, and I hate to point this out but it needs to be done. Understand that asking a black/asian mother you see outside and feel the need to randomly stop and start questioning...if she's the babysitter, an adoptee or the step mom is not something to be done in the first conversation, 20th or ever.

    Even if they are an adoptee or step parent it's none of your business nor your place to ask. And the follow-up comment about how asian, black, mixed, whatever the child looks compared to the parent is also a big no-no. Once again if your having hard time understanding how genetics work please use our frienfd google to do some research on genetics 
  9. Fifth, If a black/asain mother doesn't wish to discuss her background, her child heritage or anything about her husband, her life, or what she's having for not be quick to assume and boldly tell her she's being defensive or has an attitude. We have the right to our privacy and don't have to talk to you...if we choose. Your not entitled to know anything about another person's life.
  11. Our sixth helpful tip is very important so pay attention. If you see the id euphorialuv while your surfing around the web, interracial asian forum or mixed korean group and feel the need to say hello then say hello BUT if you feel the need to point out how white women are being reversal discriminatation and shut out because of the promotion of the black and asian community I strongly suggest you don't do it. I repeat don't do it and here's why. 

  12. Mostly likely euphoria luv aka Nikki...which is me...will get very angry and turn into the black she hulk of the asian black community. Very quickly after that I will point out how selfish and self absorbed you are to have the nerve to accused me of reverse discrimination for wanting to be with other black and asian people who date interracial. Can't a sister have something of her own that doesn't involved an "white" element?! Further you will only infuriate the black she hulk state of mind if you mention that I am

"part of the race problem and unless you have another reason for looking for blacks/asians that I haven’t fathomed, I’d like to be a part of your group even though my skin isn’t black... "

Yeah, someone wrote that to me.

So these are just some quick helpful tips to help *some* white women learn and understand more about the asian black aka blasian community and to save me from giving virtual beat downs. Don't worry ladies, there's lots more tips that I'll be sure to add to this list so keep you notepads and pencil in easy reach. Thank you for reading!
Monday, April 13, 2009

Quick checkin and status update

hey folks, i know i'm behind on my post..but i'm sick have some pity on me. baby and I are currently sniffling and sneezing and a bit achy but otherwise ok. this cold doesn't seem to be taking a tole on us...well on baby anyway..i'm ready to crawl under the covers and sleep the day away.

but baby has other ideas. he currently being social with my niece and cousin who's visiting this week since there's no school. oh joy. not!

anyway, i'm off to get some soup and then edit photos...i always have bunches from our adventures...and then try to update...somewhere, showhow...cause I have lot to share =)
Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Breast Feeding Countdown

While breast-feeding today I struggled to get my son to stay on the breast longer then a few scattered minutes. He's always distracted by something he sees or hears which makes it struggle some days.  As he tried to see what's happening on the computer screen...don't know what he was looking for cause nothing was happening.... I asked him not to waste my milk cause I don't produce as much as I use to.  It's in short supply these days. Sayn that statement aloud gave me pause and then made me very sad cause it's very true.  

Ever since Daniel discover food he's more interested in eating then nursing during the day. I still try to keep the nursing bond going. I enjoy that special time for just him and I. I typically try for  the minimum of 10mintues hoping it will be enough to keep my milk going till he reaches the one year mark.  But it's getting less and less as he grows cause he nurses more for comfort then he does for feeding.

I've tried pumping to keep the supply up but ran into a struggle with him taking a bottle.  In the end all that pumping, storing, freezing and whatnot seemed like to much trouble.  So here I am counting the days down

I guess the thing that bothers me is my changing role in this.  From conception I've been the one whose provided nourishment directly from my body.  For 10 months my mind was trained to eat well cause I have to feed the baby.  Then once my son was born I may have changed how I fed him, but it was still directly from my body. Also the healthy eating mindset was still in place. I needed to watch what I eat and drank cause I feed the baby.

But now the baby is learning to feed himself.  I am no longer the provider of direct nourishment.  This makes me very sad and I'm struggling with my role change. I always want to be able to provide for my son. While I comfort myself with the fact I still feed him and will for a long time to plate is his taste testing ground...the food connection we share is now on a different level. I understand this is part of him growing up and becoming an independent individual.  I mean how many breast-feeding adult men do I know...not counting the perverts...still it's another sad mommy moment for me.
Thursday, April 2, 2009

Caught Between a Mommy Rock and Hard Place

After a change of plans, I wondered how I could spend the rest of my day. I was already outside and the day was so beautiful and warm. Daniel was enjoying it and looked so cute in his fisherman hat. A true shame to return home now.

So I thought...since we're already in downtown brooklyn,  we should go hangout on the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. That would be a great way to destress, try to tan Daniel and of course get a photo.

On the way I stopped in a neighborhood store for some Arizona refreshment.  I grab my drink and head up to the counter to pay. Ironically it's a Korean owned store with a older Korean women at the counter. As I'm paying the women starts talking to Daniel.  Then she starts a convo with me

Korean counter lady: What's the name

Me: Daniel

Korean counter lady:  Oh, it's a boy

Me: *frown*  yes he's a boy

Korean counter lady: Oh so cute.

Me:  Thank you. Say Annyeong Haseyo Daniel  *paying and getting ready to leave*

Korean counter lady: Oh he's Japanese

Me: *blink, blink*  No he's korean...well really Korean and Black  *pointing to Daniel and then myself*

Korean counter lady: *stares at me* Uh huh

As I left the store I laughed at the thought of the Korean counter lady telling her family about the black women who came into the store with a Japanese child trying to say first he was HER baby and then he was black AND korean.

As we rolled onto the promenade I saw a mixed group of women with children.  One group of mothers with their kids. The other group of babysitters with their kids. Where would I sit? Who can I be friendly with? Honestly I stood there for a few seconds cause I was struck with the option and what it might led to.  

If I sit with the moms will they wonder why a baby sitter is in the mommy section? Will I have to explain in detail with DNA diagrams how genetics work and YES he really is my baby? Hmm

If I sit with the babysitters will they shun me after learning I am not part of the "lets complain about our bosses" club? Will I need to convince them that I'm not a spy and I'm just a regular person like them? Hmm

As I stood there looking at them, they sat there looking me waiting for me to choose an alliance. Hmm.  I'm wasn't up to dealing with the social politics today so I made my way to an empty bench away from both groups.  There I enjoyed the sun, the smell of the sea and Daniels warm baby kisses.  What a great end to the day.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009

My First Twitter Mommy Playdate

As most people know, I love meeting new people and use the internet to feed my social stalking needs.  One of my recent social networking led me to Carol or as she's known on the web NYCityMama. We soon became fast friends since we're both moms to biracial sons. But our passion for running around the city seeing sights and tasting testing foods so we can blog about it later...that is what has really bonded us.  

One day while tweeting about a mom meetup I was trying to organize Carol mentioned she wanted to be part of the mommy meetup also. After a quick round of DM's and a promise of Dominican lunch when we visit... Carol and I had plans for a playdate.

The day started cloudy with rain storms due in the afternoon. Ugh. Then Daniel started acting up when it came time to get dressed. Which of course made us run late. Since we had to go all the way uptown timing was a problem. Ugh. But I was determined to see Carol and family. I wasn't going to miss my first twitter mommy meetup! 

When we finally arrived we were warmly greeted by Carol and her youngest son like we were family coming over and not total internet strangers. Carol even helped me carry my super heavy stroller up the stair since the building doesn't have an elevator. Once up stairs Daniel and I quickly made ourselves very comfortable in Carols home. Carol and her boys...who were very excited to see baby...took turns holding and playing with Daniel while I found the nearest coach to lounge on.  

It's like we've known them for years. The boys shared their toys with Daniel and made sure to play nice with him.  They even posed to take photos with Daniel whenever I took the camera out. LOL. These boys are not only handsome but also funny! They kept speaking to me in Spanglish. Which confused me until I figured it out. I was like hey! those are Spanish words. LOL

Soon it was time to eat! On the way to the Dominican restaurant we laughed and talked like old friends. Inside Carol was amazing. I don't know how she kept up our conversations while dishing out food for everyone, answering questions from one son and catching food her other decided to spit out. LOL.  BTW, the Dominican food was yummy.  Even Daniel enjoyed eating a little of everything.

On the way back the boys, riding side by side in the strollers, kept talking to each other and so did the moms. Carol is not afraid to talk about any topic silly or serious.  We covered racial preduices within our families, within the mommy community and within ourselves.  Even though we're from different racial backgrounds our concerns as mothers and as minority women are the same.  It was cool to talk to someone who could understand the things I worry about. 

But better then all that...Carol introduced me to TweetDeck to help me manage my tweets better as I enlarge my social twitter domain.  * content sigh about meeting another techie*  Soon we had to go travel back to brooklyn so we said our goodbyes, gave kisses and promise to have another playdate soon!