The "He Looks Just Like Me" Moments

Today I made the mad dash after work to reach the pediatrician's office to check and see if Daniel had an ear infection. Turns out he doesn't. Huh so much for listening to the babysitter. Since he was fine and the sun had come out after a rainy morning start, I decided we'd spend some time by one of the local playgrounds.

On our way to the playground I notice a fuzzy hair little boy on his bike across the street. He has the look of my son so I look for his mother. Turns out she's one of the seemly many Japanese moms in Harlem with a blasian child.

Since their about to cross over to our side of the street, I wait for them at the corner. I keep running into this mom here and there in the neighborhood. We always promise to get together for a play-date but never seem to. As we chat and try to catch up from the last time we met, her son goes over to my son and starts looking at him.

At this point Daniel is playing a game on my ipod and doesn't notice anything else. But the little boy is walking around Daniel trying to get a better look. Eventually he just pushes my son's head up so he can see his face. As his moms scolds him not to push on my son's head he excitedly says "He looks just like me!"

For a moment I stood their stunned because I got it. I totally got what seeing another little boy who looks like him meant. This little boy found someone to identify with.

What's funny is this was the first time I met the little boy. I usually run into the mom with her teenage daughter. While I'm not sure if this little boy figured out Daniel was also Asian and Black, it was clear he knew Daniel was just like him in some way.

We hung out with this other blasian family for a bit. The kids ate ices, fought over a bike and ran around chasing each other and the other kids in the play ground. As I watched them play I hoped this wouldn't be the last time my son hear someone say those words about him.

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Yes my son is biracial, No explanation needed

When is it ever okay to ask someone you don't know something personal about their lives? Why can't people leave a sleeping tiger alone? I've been nice and quiet, for the most part, in the blog world but I should have know that wouldn't last. So I'm minding my business when I get a tweet asking me why I put on my twitter profile that my son is biracial? WTF

Really this is an old question. Within these past 2 years I've been asked different versions of the same question. Why do you say your son is biracial? Why are you pointing out his race mix? etc etc etc. People are constantly asking me to explain myself and my son's heritage.

But why are people asking me this? What business is it of their's how I chose to identify myself or my son. It's getting to the point now that I'm tempted to tell people straight up...It's none of your damn business. What you asking me for? Were you there that night 3 years ago when I conceived him? No? Then back up off me and let me live!

Really, really, what is it with people NEEDING to ask?! As if that's not bad enough then people get upset that I'm not answering them. Like I own them a damn explanation why I say my son is biracial, Get the fck out my face with that BS. My son is biracial. My son is black and asian. My son is blasian. And until he personally decides to self identify and claim his birthright as a biracial person to say different, then I'll keep saying he's all of these races and more.

It just burns me that people keep trying to make the fact that he's biracial a issue of some sort. What is the issue? Am I suppose to be ashamed or something? Fck that. I'm proud to be a mom of a biracial child and refuse to let anyone try and make me feel different.

Claiming an Identity on the 2010 Census

We've finally received our 2010 census form to fill out. I've been waiting for it for a while now. I started worrying that it wasn't going to come. I hoped I wouldn't need to take drastic measures and hunt someone down and insist that they count me and my little blasian. LOL. As most people know this years census is key for the mixed race community. But for me the census this year holds a special meaning since this is the first time I'm filling it out as a mom.

We received the short form so not much info was required. Still I was excited to see the new options in the race category. For myself I stuck with the basic Afro-American. No need to confuse people by claiming West Indian. Though I was tempted since they had a section for "other" race. LOL

For my son my I happily check off Black AND Korean! I bettcha whoever or whatever recording my info will have some fun with that! How wonderful is it that children like my son can now check off all the races that apply to them. Heck, if one of their races isn't there they can fill it in! Wonder if anyone claimed a new race? It could be argued that someone who is biracial could be a new and separate race...but that's radical thinking...still it's something to wonder.

As I happily scribbled our info onto the census form, my son decided to "inspect" what seems for him to be just another piece of paper. As I sat there, he peeked over the top of the page at me. I smiled at the site of him. His head covered in a curly Afro that remains in a tussled state. I look into his Asian eyes that are filled with a question of...what is mommy doing? I reached for him and showing him the form, I explained that he's no longer just an "other". This form now and in the years to come will give him the choice to define who he is.

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Moms of Blasians Spotlighted on Today Moms

I'm getting the word out folks! I recently spoke with the very nice ladies at Today Moms about highlighting the community of Moms of Biracial children and more specific Mothers of Blasian children. They asked me to write a little something and *BAM*, now you can check out my post on their website site title : Overcoming the Challenges of Raising Biracial Kids

I highlight how it feels to be be asked..."is that your baby" and my hope that as awareness for mixed-race families spreads, the challenges facing mothers of biracial children will become less a struggle and more a celebration of the differences that make us all special and unique. Enjoy!

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Come Join the Biracial Family Twitter Party

Join Us for Our Biracial Family Twitter Party

Place: Online via Twitter

Date: Friday, March 26, 2010

Time: 9p-10p EST

Hosts: @euphorialuv , @Quiskaeya and @Jamericanspice

Topic: Teaching Biracial Children About their Identity. We hope all multiracial families (Black, Asian, Latin, White, Other) will join us as we discuss political, social and parenting issues related to being a biracial or parenting a biracial.

Purpose: To provide parents & biracials an opportunity to talk about biracial identity to help build a stronger multiracial/multicultural community. Some questions open for discussion are:

1. As a parent of a biracial how do you help your child self-identify? Ex: books, events, playgroups etc
2. If your child chose one identity over another would it offend you?
3. Are your children equally accepted by both sides of the family?
4. Do you feel the one drop rule is still widely thought and accepted with regards to biracials?
5. Do you consider how society will identify your child? Does this effect how you teach your biracial child to self-identity?
   

RSVP: http://twtvite.com/6a0u27

Even if you do not have a twitter account you can still join the conversation. The discussion will stream through tweetchat (http://tweetchat.com). You can set up an account with them and jump right into the action.

To participate be sure to follow @euphorialuv , @Quiskaeya and @Jamericanspice. Also be sure to tweet with the hashtag #BiracialFamily between 9:00 and 10:00 p.m. EDT.

Please feel free to spread the word to other multiracial/multicultural groups. Hope that you will join in for a time of learning and sharing.

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Biracial Kids Destined for Doom?

There’s a conversation going on in one of my groups about how biracial children will have a life of hardship…just because their biracial…or more specific because they’re half black. Mind you this is a group for African American parents who want to adopt Asian children.

The debate started after someone posted the link to an Times article about the blasian girl who was a contestant on an American Idol–esque TV show, Go! Oriental Angel. To directly quote two separate comments that was made after reading the article…

Hopefully in her day to day life, she's okay, but in society in general she's got a lot of strikes against her. She's half-black and born of a single mother. - person 1

You have to give her mother credit for having the courage to raise her daughter knowing what they will all have to deal with. I'm sure there are others who would have chosen differently - person 2

If you know me you know I am livid right now. LIVID. Normally the green She-Hulk in me would have come out and given them a serious piece of my mind but so far I have not made any comments to anything they wrote.

Why? These women won’t “get” anything I have to say. While I adore them from sharing info with me back and forth thru the years…when it comes to this I think they need to stay on their side of the parenting fence. They are adopter's of monoracial children NOT parents of biracial children adopted or natural. How can they comment about the quality of life my son and children like him will have?! Why does being a half black child to a single mom means you have auto strikes against you?!

Do you see me ranting about how their adoptive children will have issues because they’re monracial Asian and with African American families? There could be something said about some serious identity issues but I would never say that. How the heck would I know?!

I just don’t understand the belief that anything outside the norm of mono-racial is destined for a life of doom and hardship. Where does this way of thinking come from?! More important what does it say that the President of the United States is a biracial child from a single mother? His life story certainly didn’t end up tragic so come on people!

Obama : Black Man Only or Multi-Racial Icon?

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Race and Politics : How far have we come?

Today is a great day...Daniel and I get to vote. It's truth that Daniel is still too young to vote but being a US citizen, he will be able to one day so best to learn the process now. Not to mention I wanted him to share in the support of voting for our first biracial? minority? black?  presidential candidate. Yeah man.

So we get to the school, sign up and get ready to cast our ballot. While waiting at the booth this older women comes up to me and starts touching Daniel. Well I know he's cute but she didn't even ask if she could. I was annoyed but grin and bared it. I'm in the middle of making history so no time for being annoyed...until she had the nerve to ask me the famous question I've gotten since he was born...is that your baby?

*sigh*

I said yes he is...then she said, 'I don't believe you, he's not your baby."  What? What! This strange women is touching my baby and telling me he's not mine. I immediately took her hand away from Daniel and said...well if you don't believe me then don't touch my child. I guess she thought I was joking cause she kept trying to touch him again and I kept blocking her. We stood there doing the touch and block in front the voting booth in front of a room full of people.

Eventually it was our turn to vote and I escaped into the booth but I was struck with this thought...here we are as a nation trying to elect a bi-racial president but most of us are still not racial aware or open. I would think having all that mixed race dialogue and info swirling around would open some people's minds. I guess making the leap from a white women having a bi-racial child to a black women having a bi-racial child is still a bit much for some people. No matter...Daniel and I have already taken part in history.