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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Biracial Kids Destined for Doom?

There’s a conversation going on in one of my groups about how biracial children will have a life of hardship…just because their biracial…or more specific because they’re half black. Mind you this is a group for African American parents who want to adopt Asian children.



The debate started after someone posted the link to an Times article about the blasian girl who was a contestant on an American Idol–esque TV show, Go! Oriental Angel. To directly quote two separate comments that was made after reading the article…

Hopefully in her day to day life, she's okay, but in society in general she's got a lot of strikes against her. She's half-black and born of a single mother. - person 1

You have to give her mother credit for having the courage to raise her daughter knowing what they will all have to deal with. I'm sure there are others who would have chosen differently - person 2

If you know me you know I am livid right now. LIVID. Normally the green She-Hulk in me would have come out and given them a serious piece of my mind but so far I have not made any comments to anything they wrote.

Why? These women won’t “get” anything I have to say. While I adore them from sharing info with me back and forth thru the years…when it comes to this I think they need to stay on their side of the parenting fence. They are adopter's of monoracial children NOT parents of biracial children adopted or natural. How can they comment about the quality of life my son and children like him will have?! Why does being a half black child to a single mom means you have auto strikes against you?!

Do you see me ranting about how their adoptive children will have issues because they’re monracial Asian and with African American families? There could be something said about some serious identity issues but I would never say that. How the heck would I know?!

I just don’t understand the belief that anything outside the norm of mono-racial is destined for a life of doom and hardship. Where does this way of thinking come from?! More important what does it say that the President of the United States is a biracial child from a single mother? His life story certainly didn’t end up tragic so come on people!

13 comments:

Kim Moldofsky says:
at: September 30, 2009 at 8:10 PM said...

At the first mention of a biracial child with a single mother, a vision of President Obama popped into my mind. As you said, he seems to have done well for himself.

rentec says:
at: October 1, 2009 at 9:47 AM said...

Well, they are mom's of monoracial Asian children. I don't knock their preference or decision or adopt outside the race/country but I have often wondered... why?

Some white parents adopt Asian for a myriad of reasons in the U.S

1) It's easier than adopting a black or biracial black child since black welfare workers have made it hard.

2) The proliferation of Asian children has made it easier to adopt-- until two years ago South Korea's biggest export was it's children.

3) The sadness of seeing a dead female baby in the street because often female babies in China are left to die

4) Even though the Asian babies can't get passed off as their own, the children are still light enough for white families.

5) The thought that they will have some smart ass progeny.

I'm sure there are more reasons whites adopt Asians but those are the top ones that comes to mind. Maybe those things come into mind for African American families, too, except for the first one I mentioned: it's not hard for African American families to adopt black children. Actually, too many of them go unwanted. And did you see the article a few months back that CNN did on Black in America? They talked about the growing number of single black women adopting but not wanting a child that is too dark.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/07/01/bia.single.black.women.adopt/index.html

It makes me wonder if skin color dynamics goes more into play when adopting an Asian baby for these women. And maybe that is why they have a problem with the young girl because she is so obviously "black".

On another note, you know J was adopted by a white fam. I brought up to him that maybe we could adopt a blasian baby from Korea --if one needed adopting and he adamantly says no. He would rather adopt a black child here that needs help than reach overseas so parse that one out.

Sorry to blow up your spot. LOL I'll keep it short next time.

Nikki @ Blasian Baby says:
at: October 1, 2009 at 11:19 AM said...

Kim, thanks for your comment. There's so many people that are biracial or come from single parent households that have become famous and done great things.

Renee, LOL, girl you and I are two peas in a pod. I enjoy your long comments. I'll email you my thoughts about some of what you said.

Nicole says:
at: October 1, 2009 at 12:08 PM said...

Dang ren! you broke it down! There's no need for me to comment! I also notice that When black women are single mother's, we get more flack than white women. Their percieved as modern women who are super women, and have it all, where as black women are just a hot mess!

I too have heard of black women wanting to adopt children that don't look "too black". There are still major color complex issues within the black community, especially in the African-American community.

Yakini says:
at: October 1, 2009 at 8:37 PM said...

Yeah, those viewpoints seem pretty narrow-minded to me. I have plenty of close friends who are biracial, and they have never shared with me that their life has contained any more hardships than that of a monorace person. Not sure who these biracial people are who they know who have had such a horrific life, frought with misery and struggle.

JamericanSpice says:
at: October 1, 2009 at 8:57 PM said...

It never stops does it? How can people actually think ...no believe this stuff!!

This is just sad. But they will only learn if they allow themselves to be exposed to learn.

Laura says:
at: October 3, 2009 at 5:51 PM said...

I think more multiracial people need to be seen in all kinds of media. Not portrayed as the cool, exotic person, but just as they are, regular ol' people.

My Grandmother expressed concern for my first child when he was born. She asked if I thought he was going to have a harder life because he was biracial. I was just young enough to not understand exactly where this was coming from. Turns out, my children being biracial has been the open door into a lot different places. It's been a gift that they use to their advantage.

Love this post!!
I nominated you for an award! Come see...
http://iamtheglue.blogspot.com/2009/10/mmmmlemonade.html
I feel like the blogging fairy!

A Mom After God's Own Heart says:
at: October 4, 2009 at 5:03 PM said...

What a great post! I look forward to reading more on your blog.

Just following now from MBC Follow Me Club!

Great blog:)

Milk and Honey Mommy says:
at: October 10, 2009 at 3:28 AM said...

Nikki,

What is the excuse for all of the monoracial children from monoracial families who have difficulty in their lives? It's interesting how the least experienced often have the most to say about a subject. There are so many examples of children who fit that profile (biracial and raised by a single-parent) who grow up with fit minds and are quite successful.

It goes back to the parents - their thinking and how they raise their children. The only strikes against my children (if they exist) are in my ability to teach them well enough to deal w/the ridiculous perceptions like those you experienced in the forum.

Nicole's comment about how single-parent black women are viewed vs. single-parent white women is right on.

2 Toddlers and Me says:
at: October 14, 2009 at 2:55 PM said...

It does sound like they think they showing concern for the child or adoptive parent by raising these questions. But what is the alternative? To not adopt because the child is biracial? It just doesn't sound like they've thought it through. How frustrating for you.

I like your blog. Found you through Mom Bloggers Follow Group. I am following and looking forward to read more.

Mrs Cooper says:
at: October 15, 2009 at 1:14 PM said...

Amazing.......still........how ignorant some people are. It's not the color that makes the person it's "The Content of Their Character""....Martin Luther King.

Gift Baskets says:
at: October 16, 2009 at 12:55 AM said...

Growing up biracial in the 80s was difficult because there were not many biracial families. Now it seems everyone is biracial in some ways. In my opinion the lines of race have blurred a bit since my youth.

Anonymous
at: January 24, 2010 at 7:17 PM said...

As and adopted child myself and a single mother of a biracial child, I am disgusted with the comment about the "strikes" against the child who is biracial and being raised by a single mom.
The way I look at things is simple -- some children are better off with one "good" parent than with "two okay" parents or one parent of the two parents who doesn't want to be involved.
As far as the biracial factor - I agree with the last comment "it seems everyone is biracial in some ways". Whether people want to except it or not, times have changed.
And for those who are looking to adopt, the ethnicity of a child should be the least of your worries - be happy to be saving a child and finally being given the opportunity to have a family of your own.
I just hope that sometime before I die there is SOME resolution to this controversy.

It is funny that THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES is a successful biracial child - raised by a single mother ... ponder upon that.