Frustration at the Local Library

NYC libraries usually has tons of events happening at local libraries. Or at least that’s what the calendar says is suppose to happen. But after visiting one of my local area libraries I’m finding that’s not really the deal. Seems unless a real interest is shown then a “scheduled” event might not happen.

Take for example the story time that was scheduled for today. Since no one showed up...besides me and Daniel...then it was a "no go" due to lack of people. The librarian suggested we should instead attend the RIF program on a Thursday afternoon. Hmm. So we signed up for that but really it’s not what I was looking for. Once again this library has disappointed me.

Then I ask if this library could use the American Baby/ Baby Talk magazines I no longer need. The library clerk explained there really isn’t a circulation need for them. I got the feeling she didn’t think any of the women/mothers in this area would read them. Mind you, in this area city project building are found in ever direction you look. I’ve seen tons of babies being carried around. I know the info found in these magazines would be helpful and is needed by this mothering community. But again the lack of community interest directs what is considered needed for library services.

Despite these two incidents my true frustration at the library happened as we were leaving. One of the female security guards wanted to play with Daniel. Since Daniel chose to just walk right over to her so she can pick him up…what can I do. I gotta find a way to teach him not to do that. It freaks me out and puts me in a bad position to say…please don’t touch my son.

Anyway, Daniel goes over, she picks him up, kisses him on his cheek (cringe) and then starts the Q and A with me. Thankfully her questions started with his name, how old he was and is he my first. So I answered her and said yes he’s my first and most likely only. Why did I say that?! Dammit, I left an opening for dialogue.

This lady says to me...are you sure? That’s selfish of you. You should have more so he has someone to grow up with.

WTH! Don’t I already have enough guilt about him being an only child?! If she only knew what it took me to have this one she might think twice about suggesting I have another.

Dreaming of Blue Hawaii

While packing to move I thought what would life be like living in Hawaii? I know a few people who either lived there in the past or are currently living there.

To start Hawaii has perfect weather, beautiful scenery and yummy food. Then Hawaii has a diverse racial and cultural background which makes it an good place to raise children....moreso one of mixed Asian heritage.

But the fact that Hawaii lacks a strong selection of West Indian restaurants...where I can get bake and saltfish...gave this "move to Hawaii" idea major pause. Still it would be a nice place to visit.

Helping to Change Views on Asian Black Unions

A few days ago I talked a little about my ex and shared a blog post that explains why we're not together anymore.  I also shared it with my facebook community.  They left some interesting comments.

I responded by saying

Thank you ladies, it's true i don't "have" to explain but I chose to. People are misguided on info about asian black couples and families. They think all asian black unions are filled with drama and negativity because of race. But not everything is about racial conflict. Sometime it's just normal man and women stuff. By being open about my life and the situation with Daniel's dad my aim is to show things in a different positive light.

But I want to expand this thought a little bit more here. Since this is a public blog many different people have access to the info. I'd like to help them develop alternative views of Asian and Black couples and families besides what's showed in the media and online.


There will always be men and women conflicts no matter what race they're in.  Since I am a black women who date interracially all types of men... including asian...i can speak on this subject first hand.  I notice that the media like to portray black women as down and out single mothers who were used, abused and abandoned by their men.  The tone is that we're not desirable as long term mates and will end up alone.  Add to the recipe any interracial male... more so an asian male...and the outcome is beyond bleak. Asian males dating a black females is like seeing a flying pig.  Something considered freakishly rare.  

The only main stream article that address this type of union mentions it as a last ditch effort on the side of asian men who have lost their asian women to white asian dating and who can't get white women to date them...for whatever reason.  So to save themselves from leading a life of loneliness they have no choice except to date and possible marry  *gasp* a black women.

Now, I have a sick sense of humor and enjoy reading these types of articles like I enjoy reading the Star magazine.  Good fiction is hard to find after all.

See, in the world I live and date in it's quite a different story. Sure there are some black women who have relationship problems...but all races have women like this.  Sure there are some asian men who will never date or marry a black women due to community and cultural pressures...but again what race doesn't have men like this?

What's not highlighted or featured in these article and research on interracial dating are the many couples and families that do bridge the racial gaps and are happy.  I've made it my business to seek out and follow these families so I could learn the truth from the people living it...not from people speculating about it.

As for my own life as a black female who has dated, married and divorced an asian male.  I can honestly say any issues within the relationship have more to do with him not picking up his socks then with the shape of his eyes.  Sometimes men and women are just that...men and women dealing with mars and venus issues. Asian and black couples and families are just that... regular couples and families.  Get to know my community and you'll see =)

Baby Michelangelo - Day 141

Today we went did painting in Battery Park with another mom and her kids. Daniel can't paint yet but he enjoyed paintings anyway.

Haters, Me and My Blasian Baby

Notice the title of this blog? I'm going to talk about haters or to use the correct term people who are jealous.  Now the jealous mentality is not something I truly understand or even worry about. I mean come on... anything someone else has that your wanting...you can get. 

I don't understand how you can take a look at someone else and dislike them because you feel your lacking in something.  Get off your butt and do something so you can be proud that you now also have something.  Now what does all of this have to do with me and Daniel?

Well today I have an interesting "is that your baby" story to share.  I'm thinking of giving these stories their own section. LOL.  So I drag my brother to the supermarket with me.  We did the shopping and now we're heading to the checkout.  As I'm scanning the cashiers so I can avoid the one from the last supermarket "is that your baby" incident, I start telling my brother the story.  But being a man...all of 19...he just picks one and wait for the cashier to ring up the total. Since he's has the stroller with Daniel I'm right behind him. I hear the cashier start the banter of oh what a cute baby, so adorable and finally the "is that your baby"?

I'll save you the play by play but at one point she says "oh he looks chinese' and my brother explains it's his korean/black nephew. This is his sister's son. Mind you I'm there giving her the evil eye cause I know she's seen me with Daniel before!  I'm in that supermarket ALL the time. Anyway, do you know even after my brother has clearly explained everything, homegirl still says my son is chinese and thinks it's a joke! 

So I sucked my teeth...loudly...take the stroller and go off to the side to wait for my brother to finish up his flirting convo. I'm so pissed cause I don't know why people ask questions but don't want to accept the answers.

Once back home I hop on my twitter and my face book to share my story.  Of course my mommy friends on face book started adding their experinces and a dialogue was started. During the back and forth someone said the cashier was just hatn on me. At first I didn't agree but the more I thought about it and how negative the reactions are after I say "yes he's my baby" it kinda made sense.

But I still wonder why?  If these women want their own half asian babies then they should do something about it. There are billions of asian men around. They can just grab one and make her own blasian baby. Then hopefully they can stop hatn on me for mine and let me enjoy my day!

Reading is Fundamental

From infancy till now I have always read to Daniel. He loved hearing my voice and looking at the pictures. I enjoyed introducing him to one of my favorite habits. I love books and being a reader I'd love to develop the love of reading within my son.

At first I would read anything to him, the newspaper, the baby/parenting magazines articles, labels on baby products. LOL, Whatever was available at the time. I read somewhere that all that reading would help him develop his hearing and speech skills. Dunno know if all my reading did all the good they say but I did notice that Daniel enjoyed all that reading attention. He would follow my lips first and then later the pictures in the magazine. He would always smile at the baby pictures. I thought that was funny.

Now that he’s older he’s more active and involved during our reading sessions. Now he likes to help turn the pages, tries to touch the “characters” on the pages and even adds his own commentary on the story. I guess he feels story time should be interactive. LOL. In truth I enjoy his input. It good to know that my son wants to connect with me during that time.

Blasian Baby Notes is PR famous...Sorta

While checking links and back links I noticed that this blog was getting some PR loving.  How cool is that considering I didn't even try for any of it.  

http://abrahamharrison.com/thank-you-snuggle-cr-me-bloggers 

Look I'm #18

http://www.womanist-musings.com/2009/04/drop-it-like-its-hot_25.html 

My "Blasian Manual For “Some” White Women" was included

I'm sure some people are wondering how can someone who isn't a big time mom blogger... much less someone who even blogs regularly... get that kinda press.  Well...it could be my cute smile...no? don't agree?  

In truth it all started a few months when I joined the Mommy Bloggers Club .  I didn't do anything special, just replied to some discussion, made some new blog friends and tried being an active member of that community.  From there I started getting email pitches from PR firms or directly from the company themselves to feature their product.  Some I turned down due to lack of time, interest and cause they didn't match me...one firm wanted to send me baby girl stuff...duh, I have a boy!

For the PR firms I've made time to work with it's been great! Yeah, I get to review cool stuff, go to cool events and meet some high profile people but that's not my aim in working with PR firms or directly with major companies.  I've come to understand that unless I give a wider voice to the Asian Black / Blasian community I'm representing online... this community will remain hidden to the masses. 

There's a saying that you can't see beyond what's in front of you. For the sake of my son and the other black and asian mothers raising blasian children, I have to see beyond my community so that our voice can be hard and our images can be seen.