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Sunday, September 20, 2009

When the Boo Boo's Get Serious

Recently I had a melt down after learning that my son injured himself. No matter how much you come to expect that injuries will happen...they always seems to drop kick you in the gut.

I was on my way back from a blog event and decided to call the sitter to let her know I might be a few minutes late. The sitter in a very calm voice said she was trying to reach me to tell me that my son had tripped and fallen on a toy. The toy he fell on injured right under his eye. As I listened to her I felt like someone stung me with a taser. I was numb all over.

I felt so awful that my son was injured and crying while I was chatting and laughing with my blog friends. To make matters worse the event was child friendly and I could have brought him. The other moms brought their kids and the feeling of guilt and shame started to engulf me.

As I rushed over to the sitter thoughts filled me head. These are the reasons I need to stay at home with my son my heart said. This wouldn't have happened if I would have stayed home or taken him with me. My son is probably now blinded due to this injury. I'm a terrible mother!

When I arrived the sitter explained everything to me and assured me that Daniel is otherwise alright. As I looked at the gash under his eye my feelings of guilt doubled up. I started nursing him for comfort...mine as well as I went back over the story with the sitter checking each fact to be sure it was an accident.

On the way home I tried to think straight but all I wanted to do is get my son home where I can keep him safe behind closed doors. I held him close all night as I tried to decided what to do about the work issue.

The next day I sent him off to daycare, took myself to work and once in called my son's doctor office. I explained what happened and asked do I need to go to the emergency room. I worried that internal damage might have been done even thought I saw no bleeding or swelling. The nurse felt if I was that worried to come in to their urgent care section in the evening.

So after work I rushed over to the urgent care center to sit and wait, and wait and wait. While I was doing all this waiting my son decided to "explore" the center. As I watched he started to flirt with the women sitting in the center. Giving smiles and cute looks. Then his exploring led to a game of catch with the security guard. At a certain point my mind said to my heart...lets go home, we'll make an appt and have his doctor look at him. Don't sit here late at night just for them to tell you what you can see. So far he's ok and recovering from the injury.

While my son seems to be recovering from his injury I'm still hurt over it. Each day I try to think of ways I can stay home with him and still provide financially for us. I like my job but home with my son is where I want to be. I know I can't prevent the boo boo's from happening but I want to be there when they do.


Dominique says:
at: September 22, 2009 at 1:06 AM said...

It is never easy finding the a stay at home job whereby you can be there for your child and at the same time earn a decent living. Could you put him in a daycare which is near your office and you can pop by during lunch?

T.Allen-Mercado says:
at: September 22, 2009 at 10:51 AM said...

I'm so sorry. I wish I could say that it gets easier, but as my oldest child hits the road soon, in a vehicle-I am tryiong to find ways I can cut back on my responsibilities and ride along, on the dashboard!

Parenting is an all the time job, and you are right for wanting to be there all the time. I hope you can find the balance you're seeking to spend more time with Daniel.

at: September 22, 2009 at 11:45 PM said...

Daniel seems like a tough little guy.

The older he gets the more injuries he will have and the more scars you will have on the inside.

lululu says:
at: September 23, 2009 at 3:48 AM said...

totally gotcha here.
the other day, my son got a tiny bruise on his cheek, i didnt know what he got it, but i was like looking at all the time NON-STOP, hoping it'd go away ASAP!

urbanite mommy says:
at: September 24, 2009 at 5:42 PM said...

I totally feel your pain, Muffin is 9 months old right now, and I spend a good portion of my mental space wondering if she's okay when ever I'm away, even if she's just sleeping in the other room! everyone loves to tell me how I'm over reacting, well I say screw them all! I'm sure in time my overprotective-ness will lessen but right now I'm a 1st time 40 year old mom, who thinks the world of my Muffin!

Nikki @ Blasian Baby says:
at: October 1, 2009 at 11:54 AM said...

It's great when I can share boo boo stories with other moms. Lets me know I'm not in it alone. Thanks guys. I have to do some blog visiting so I can catch up with your kids =)

Yakini says:
at: October 1, 2009 at 8:51 PM said...

Oh dear, I'm so sorry that happened to Daniel. I know the more "serious" boo-boos are just something we will just have to learn to accept, as moms, but I know it never gets easier. You must have been so scared. :-( I'm glad Daniel is alright - Im sure it looks a lot worst than it is.

at: December 12, 2009 at 11:15 AM said...

OMG! He is too cute!!

at: August 11, 2010 at 11:32 PM said...

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Julia Kuree