Celebrating a Relaxed 4th of July

This week has been insanely hot so I didn't to want run around outside visiting friends and family for 4th of July. We love our friends and family but not when it's 90 degrees outside. Besides Daniel really doesn't do well in super hot weather. He starts turning all red faced and irate. Better to keep him cool and happy. And me sane.

So I decided to check out the 17th Annual July 4th Harlem Children's Parade. I never been to it but it's in our local neighborhood, family friendly, and ends with a fire truck turning on their water hose to spray water so the kids can have some water fun. Sounds good to me!

During the parade families follow the fire truck along it's mini route until it's loop back to the start. Daniel and I opted out of leaving the cool shade of the park and waited with other families for the trucks return. Once the firetruck came back, it wasn't long till the water works started

At first Daniel wasn't feeling the crowd of people and all that noise. He's so my kid. But he soon changed his mind after seeing all the fun the other kids were having. Plus I gave him a firm push into the crowd. We were there for cool water fun not standing on the sidelines!

After my firm but loving push into the crowd, he joined in and began a rain dance. I swear that's what it looked like to me. LOL. He was soon splashing and kick around in the water along with the other kids. I thought he'd be at it for a while but he soon had enough fun and decided he wanted to leave. Did I mention he's so my son?

Truth be told I was getting annoyed with the other parents who kept jumping in front of me like it was their right. I had to firmly tap one women and ask her to move aside so I can see my kid. She gave me a look but did move out my way. She better had. I don't have to tell you these parents were white. Black folks don't act like that. Tsk!

Since Daniel was over the water fun and now all wet, he decided he wanted to take a walk into the park. Eh. At least he'll dry off. While walking in the park we came across a family of geese. I had to warn Daniel NOT to run up on them cause they will fight back. I can't promise I'll fight with those geese on his behalf. Have you seen angry geese?!

After he was all dry and finish with his walk in the park, it was time to eat. Daniel doesn't play when it comes time to eat. So we made a quick stop to Wendy's for chicken nuggets and french fries before heading home for a nice long nap. I'd say that was a good way to start and end our 4th of July.

What did your family do to celebrate 4th of July?

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Toddler Winter Arts & Crafts #vlog

Today at my son's daycare/preschool they had a winter festive with different arts and crafts for the kids. The parents were invited to tag along but after all the days and half days I took at work to do things for Daniel, my boss was done. No chance of her allowing me to leave early yet again. So no arts and crafts for me. Thankfully Daniel was able to bring home all the crafts he did during the festival and share with me.

In the below video, I take them out one by one to share with you :) Hands down my favorite is the winter photo frame. :)

At the end of this vlog I shared my thoughts on how I feel as a working who misses school events like this. It's very hard to deal with when I can't be there to do school activities with my son. I always want to be there for my son but I know I need keep working to support us. My only other choice is to find a rich man and becomes a house wife...not likely to happen.... Being a working mom can be frustrating at times like these. I know more moments like this will come as my son grows and his school require more parent interaction and support. Sometimes I wonder what schoosl think? Don't they know parents need to work to pay for school fees and trip cost?! How can I do both things?! Ugh But then I remind myself I can only do what I can. Sometimes he's going to have me there and sometimes he's not. Hopefully for those moments when I'm not there for some activity, we can share what he did after. During the "after" moments I can Oh and AH and I can tell him how proud I am of him. Hopefully being there "after" can be just as good. Hopefully.

The "Black" Dad Stand In

These days my son has been spending a lot of time over by my Mother;s place. Which means he's spending more time with other family members like my uncle, who's his great uncle. Recently my uncle told me about something very strange that Daniel has started doing. For some reason only known to him, Daniel has started calling my uncle Daddy.

At first I thought it was just a misunderstanding. Maybe he was trying to say another word and it came out as Daddy. Nope. My son was clearly calling my uncle his daddy. Now you should know that my uncle is as dark as I am but it doesn't seem to matter to Daniel.

As if that wasn't bad enough I noticed Daniel started calling ANY dark skin man daddy. At first I wasn't sure so I started testing him while were outside. I'd point to a light skin man and ask who's that. Daniel would say boy or something related. Then I'd point to a dark skin man and Daniel would say daddy.

*scratching my head*

I couldn't figure out why all the dark skinned guys were daddy to him. Could it be because I (mommy) am dark skinned? Come to think of it most of my family is also. So did he just associate dark black people as family and now a dark skinned black men are daddies? Maybe but still that didn't explain why he started now and why based on skin-tone.

My son knows what he's Father looks like, I've shown him photos and explained that's his daddy. While he calls these dark skinned men daddy, it seems it's just a title. He doesn't seem to think of them as directly his daddy. He seemed to understand but still......

So I started thinking of all the men in his life that can have a direct impact on him. Oddly most of them are black. From my Uncles to my son's Godfather. All black.

Heck even those guys I know from the internet or in the neighborhood that try and take on a Father's type role with my son are black. Yes there's some Asian and Spanish guys who try to sneak in but mostly the black men hold it down with my son.

I thought that was funny. As I sit here this 3rd Father's Day of my son's life without his real Dad, I'm so grateful that I found men who look past all racial boundaries and embrace a little boy trying to find his way to male-hood. It really wasn't many intention to put the image of a "black" daddy into my son's mind but there it is....

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE "DADDIES" OF ALL RACES

Yes my son is biracial, No explanation needed

When is it ever okay to ask someone you don't know something personal about their lives? Why can't people leave a sleeping tiger alone? I've been nice and quiet, for the most part, in the blog world but I should have know that wouldn't last. So I'm minding my business when I get a tweet asking me why I put on my twitter profile that my son is biracial? WTF

Really this is an old question. Within these past 2 years I've been asked different versions of the same question. Why do you say your son is biracial? Why are you pointing out his race mix? etc etc etc. People are constantly asking me to explain myself and my son's heritage.

But why are people asking me this? What business is it of their's how I chose to identify myself or my son. It's getting to the point now that I'm tempted to tell people straight up...It's none of your damn business. What you asking me for? Were you there that night 3 years ago when I conceived him? No? Then back up off me and let me live!

Really, really, what is it with people NEEDING to ask?! As if that's not bad enough then people get upset that I'm not answering them. Like I own them a damn explanation why I say my son is biracial, Get the fck out my face with that BS. My son is biracial. My son is black and asian. My son is blasian. And until he personally decides to self identify and claim his birthright as a biracial person to say different, then I'll keep saying he's all of these races and more.

It just burns me that people keep trying to make the fact that he's biracial a issue of some sort. What is the issue? Am I suppose to be ashamed or something? Fck that. I'm proud to be a mom of a biracial child and refuse to let anyone try and make me feel different.

Celebrating Family Day for Korean New Year

Today we went to celebrate Korean New Year’s Day (Solla) at The Korea Society. All races of children, parents, and grandparents were welcome to sample traditional rice cakes (Ttok), practice the New Year's bow (Sebae), and watch a short film screening on the traditional ancestral ceremony Ch'arye, the holding of an ancestor-memorial service on festive days, with food and wine offered in sacrifice to the ancestral tablet. The day was also filled with traditional games and activities.

The first activity was hearing the story of the Master Calligrapher. Some children were dressed in their Hanbok's and looked so colorful. I tried sitting and hearing the whole story but my son was soon on to the next activity.

We stopped by the food table to get rice cakes (Ttok) and Korean New Year drinks like Shik'e (rice punch) and Sujonggwa (cinnamon flavoured persimmon punch). Sadly all the race cakes were gone so my son had the Sujonggwa while I enjoyed the Shik'e.

As we took a break to enjoy our drinks I looked around to see what other types of families came to celebrate. While I did see another black family and some white/asian families it was mostly asian families attending. It was nice to see all the Halmeoni's (Grandma's) sitting in the corner watching the kids run around.

Our next stop was the Minhwa coloring table. Minhwa is a simple folk art style of painting on paper or canvas. Typical subjects include tigers (representing power) and cranes (representing long life). When asked to choose which animal he wanted to color my son chose the tiger, which is my Chinese zodiac sign. Smart boy!

From there we wandered over to the Sebae section where things got really interesting. When I asked what the pretty floor mats were about, the guy there explained that it was for bowing. He then asked if I wanted him to show my son how. I didn't think it would work since Daniel was busy trying to climb the stage instead of sitting on the mats. But the guy was patient and explained to Daniel what to do. When it seemed Daniel wanted to run away, he sat him down and gave him some sort of mini massage. I think he took a liking to Daniel and wanted to encourage him.

Meanwhile the women on the other side instructed me to take off my shoes and sit on the mat. Seems the guy taught the boys and the women taught the girls. But when I asked her to teach me she said, you don't bow. LOL. As I sat down I felt so weird but as I watched my son finally let the guy show him how to bow and show respect.   I was so proud of him.  He's a good son.

After that we went to play Yut nori, a Korean board game traditionally played on New Year’s Day. My son liked seeing the sticks being thrown but he's still to young to figure out how to move the token (Mals). Then we went to Yon Mandulgi (Kite making) but it was to crowded so we went to make a Chegi (sorta a hacky-sack) that suppose to be kicked.

One of the guys showed us how to kick a Chegi using the side of the feet. He was very good at it. Then it was time for the children to learn how to kick so they can enter the contest later. Daniel tried to kick his Chegi but he still needs to work on his kick ;)

We had a great day at the Korea Society and I'm glad they host events that are open to anyone who wants to learn more about Korean culture.

Celebrating All Women for Mothers Day

This mothers day was a quiet one for us. We're not feeling so well so we decided to stay home and rest. Some might feel I'm missing out on the Mother's Day activities but for me I've already done enough things leading up today. One of the best things I did was once again helping 1800flowers.com ring the opening bell at NASDAQ in Times Square to officially usher in Mother's Day.

True I did is last year also but it was such a different experience. Last year I was excited to ring the bell as a mom blogger but that was just in one dimension. As I stood there I just representing myself. Plus at the time I was in favor with alot of people. But this year as some might know, I've had some drama and fell from grace with some people.

Honestly, when I saw the invite I was a bit surprised to be asked. Ringing the opening bell at NASDAQ is a very visible action. The bell ringing ceremony is broadcasting outside on the building but also televised and photographed. So this year as I stood there I thought about what my image meant to anyone seeing me.

Yes my image gave presence to the black mothers, to the mother's of a biracial child, to the single mother, etc. But it also gave an image to women who stand to make a difference...sometimes alone... for what they personally believe in.

To me being a mother is not just about having a child. Many women are "mother" figures or have taken on a "motherly" role for others. So many women have been "mothers" to me and I hope I have "mothered" younger women. As the camera's flashed and we clapped and cheered, I hoped any women, young or old, who saw me would be inspired to follow her calling and listen to her heart. As anyone can see, doing so has given me amazing life experiences. Happy Mother's Day to all Women!

Playground Frustration and Surprises

Today, as we normally do we headed to the park early to enjoy a little playtime session before starting the day. I decided to walk a different way and explore a little before going to the usual playground. On the way I discovered a new playground with all sorts of cool play areas. Of course my son was more then willing to check it out.

We spent about half an hour running all around the playground testing out the ramps, slide, steps and anything else that caught my son's eye. As we're playing a fun game of "tag" I notice a lady and her dog walking towards us. She starts the usual comments to Daniel...hello handsome, etc.

As I stand there wondering why she interrupted our game of tag, the conversation starts

Lady: "Where are his parents from"?
Me: Huh? I'm his mother.
Lady: *stuttering* Oh, Well, It's hard to know sometimes. I mean, where is his father from?
Me: *giving her a look, while I take my son hand* Yeah, Well have a good day.

I'm sure she said something as we left but at that point I was too pissed to pay attention. Can't I have today to just enjoy being with my son? It's Easter Sunday, shouldn't she be in church, with family or something?

But what really annoyed me is that people need to ask about his father race so they can KNOW...like it's not obvious my son is mixed with some type of Asian?! I have to TELL them? WTF?

As we walked back to our area playground, where everyone knows us, I see a man and his two sons walking a bit up the block. But wait...one of his son looks just like my son when he was about 1 year. Then I get a look at the other son. OMG, it's a blasian family.

Now we all know I ain't the shy type. So as I walk over to him, I beam a big smile and say hello. I quickly explain that we're both parents of half Asian child and we should be friends. LOL.

After getting over his shock of some strange black women stopping him randomly, the dad starts telling me about his family. His wife is Japanese and he's from South Africa. The boys are 3yrs and 1.5yrs.

We stand there trading stories while taking photos of each other and the kids. For that moment we were our own little playgroup. I gave him my contact info and begged him to tell his wife to call me for a playdate.

What are the odds of running into another blasian family in Harlem? Apparently pretty good odds!