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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Frustration at the Local Library

NYC libraries usually has tons of events happening at local libraries. Or at least that’s what the calendar says is suppose to happen. But after visiting one of my local area libraries I’m finding that’s not really the deal. Seems unless a real interest is shown then a “scheduled” event might not happen.

Take for example the story time that was scheduled for today. Since no one showed up...besides me and Daniel...then it was a "no go" due to lack of people. The librarian suggested we should instead attend the RIF program on a Thursday afternoon. Hmm. So we signed up for that but really it’s not what I was looking for. Once again this library has disappointed me.

Then I ask if this library could use the American Baby/ Baby Talk magazines I no longer need. The library clerk explained there really isn’t a circulation need for them. I got the feeling she didn’t think any of the women/mothers in this area would read them. Mind you, in this area city project building are found in ever direction you look. I’ve seen tons of babies being carried around. I know the info found in these magazines would be helpful and is needed by this mothering community. But again the lack of community interest directs what is considered needed for library services.

Despite these two incidents my true frustration at the library happened as we were leaving. One of the female security guards wanted to play with Daniel. Since Daniel chose to just walk right over to her so she can pick him up…what can I do. I gotta find a way to teach him not to do that. It freaks me out and puts me in a bad position to say…please don’t touch my son.

Anyway, Daniel goes over, she picks him up, kisses him on his cheek (cringe) and then starts the Q and A with me. Thankfully her questions started with his name, how old he was and is he my first. So I answered her and said yes he’s my first and most likely only. Why did I say that?! Dammit, I left an opening for dialogue.

This lady says to me...are you sure? That’s selfish of you. You should have more so he has someone to grow up with.

WTH! Don’t I already have enough guilt about him being an only child?! If she only knew what it took me to have this one she might think twice about suggesting I have another.


lvlc says:
at: July 23, 2009 at 4:23 PM said...

I feel your frustration! First of all they made you feel like you were not worth a program for them! WTH! One mom with his son that put away some time to support them must be shown the same respect!

And as of the only child thing.. Why is it with people that always say is selfish to have just one child! (I mean, I've always wanted to have more than one but that doesnt mean I diminish people who don't!) What they care! So, now you have to have another child just to give company to your son! hahahaha hilarious! These people have no idea what they are talki'ng about. Having kids is more than giving company to a sibling, is a great responsability! period!

HUGS HUGS and more HUGS!

Nicole says:
at: July 23, 2009 at 6:00 PM said...

I'm surpised they wouldn't take the magazines. Moms and libraries got together like peanut butter and jelly. Weird. I hear alot of people saying that about an only child. I get weird looks when I tell people my kids are almost 11 years apart. "damn..why did you wait so long"?!

Belle says:
at: July 26, 2009 at 2:50 AM said...

I'm so sorry to hear that :( I work at my local library and they always have story times and weekly events posted for the children. Even if one parent shows they do not cancel the program. If anything you can always make the initiative and see if you could present programs to that library or at least offer a service where mothers in the area can learn more about parenting. Does the library have a used book store? If so you could donate the magazines to it. Ahh, I love the library and I'm always sadden when people who work to better the community fail to satisfy its customer-base. I hope you get better service next time around.

Milk and Honey Mommy says:
at: April 27, 2010 at 2:56 PM said...


I hate that for you and your son. I too would have been VERY disappointed if the library would have canceled a program "just like that." I have three children so that may have made a difference, but that shows such disregard to the child. He came and he is worth the program. The time was scheduled, so get to work.

I’m not sure where people get the idea that kissing another person’s child is OK. I’ve had similar incidences and it shocked me each time. I also felt bad about not “saving” my child before they were kissed, hugged, grabbed, etc. When my first two children got old enough, they started telling people to not touch them and my baby just stays away.

Boy, this turned into a mini-rant comment. We depend on the library for so much and it is sad when they don’t follow through and make it difficult to check out books. I’ve always lived in a larger area where the library was well used and had a great selection of books, etc. No, we live in a small town and the resources are shameful. The librarian told me that they don’t get money for new books. One direction, we have to drive about one hour away to a larger library, out of county library and have to actually pay for a library card. In the other direction, another larger, out of county library is available, but they charge for a card and to check out the books. Barnes & Noble, here I come.