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Monday, December 15, 2008

Truth About Daniel, His Dad and Me

I never really stop to think how people not on the "inside" would view some of what I blog about. I guess I figured you guys would not be so...umm... judgmental?

 

By nature I'm an open person but somethings are just private. For example, I never told the whole story behind the breakup of me and Pete (Daniel's father). It's actually very hard to explain but really it's no one business. Still, by not sharing some key points you guys are left to come to your own conclusions. Sadly some of your guesses are so far from what is truth. While I don't care what people think of me...I do care what people think about Daniel. So lets get some things cleared up.

First, Daniel was not a mistake or a heat in the moment baby. He was planned for months in advance. He was no suprise to Pete. Actually, Pete begged me for months to start a family. We talked and planned over all areas of parenting way before giving up the birth control. Daniel was wanted and made with a spirit of love by both his parents.

Second, I was not tricked and abandoned by Pete. Well not in the way you would think anyway. This one is harder to explain. We had ALOT of issues and some we dealt with. Others we just couldn't seem to deal with by the time those two pink lines appeared. To his credit he tried and wanted to keep going but because of some recent events between us I chose not to. That was my choice to end the relationship but it is his choice to stay out of his sons life. No one person is more wrong then the other.

I wrote some of these things to show that things are never just black and white with people. Pete and I always said... sometimes love just isn't enough. We loved each other, no doubt, but we both needed more then love to truly be happy. So, you see there's alot more to any story then you know, so please don't be so quick to judge.

I don't regret meeting Pete, making my son or choosing to be a single mother one bit. Yes, it's hard now because real life didn't go as planned but it's ok. In time things will smooth out. I've found inner strength, creativity and resourcefulness I never would have if I'd chosen to do things differently. More importantly... thru love of a mother for a child I can almost see God, the first and greatest creator of life.

I'm going to stop blogging here on myspace because some people really just don't get it...I can only explain things so many times. If ya wanna know whats happening in my life or with Daniel, just drop me an email for an update.

This is actually a repost of the original blog posted on myspace ~ http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=203293322&blogId=456549486

1 comments:

Chef Luna says:
at: May 20, 2009 at 1:41 PM said...

Hi Niki,

Thanks for sharing. It still amazes me that in this day & age, that people are still in the dark ages in many ways. You are a lovely family and I look forward to hearing more about your adventures!