Making My Son's Elmo Dreams Come True

I'm 4 years into this parenting thing, and one thing I've come to learn, is that parents are wish granters. We'll do whatever it take to make our child's dream come true. I think that is as it should be. I recently had a chance to make my son's dream a reality when I was invite to preview Elmo's new DVD and meet him after.

Now in full disclosre I wanna mention, my son hasn't had a personal meeting with Elmo, while I have met Elmo a few times. It's one of the perks of my other life as a semi famous mom blogger. But these perks are hard earned. I've put many long hours into blogging, getting my presence out there and connecting with dream companies like Sesame Street. Meeting Elmo isn't as easy as it seems. But I do what I have to because I know my son loves Elmo. Heck I love Elmo. And our love was rewarded.

My son was beyond excited, as we headed to theater reserved just for the small group of families invited to the screening. As he sat in his seat, he asked me about a zillions times when the movie will start. When the movie finally started he quickly hopped into my lap giggling with excitement. Watching Sesame Street is something we've always done together.

After the screening, Elmo and Abby popped on stage and the kids went wild. At this point I should mention that I'm the only black mom at this event. The only one. I share this so you understand the next series of events.

As Elmo and Abby tell us about their new movie, these little white kids lose their minds and rush the stage. Their parents aren't far behind and the battle starts so their kids can get access. I just sit and watch the craziness from the comfort of my seat. My son watches with me. We're not fans of crowds.

At a certain point they announce it's time for the meet and greet with Elmo and Abby. They clearly said for everyone to sit in their seats and they'll call families by rows. That plan soon went out the window when children start having melt downs and their parents allow it. No explaining about waiting, no taking turns, no common courtesy. The white privileged mindset at work.

One women followed her crying child down the stairs and tries to skipped everyone. She loudly explains her child loves Elmo so much and wont calm down until she meets him. Can her child just go first?

At this point I start to see red... and my skin starts to turn green. My she-hulk personality in mom mode is a dangerous thing.

The thought in my head....Is her child any better then my son? Does her child love Elmo more then my son? Did this mother work any hardier then I did? Why should they be allowed to skip ahead?! They shouldn't and I wont let them.

I explain to my son it's our turn to meet Elmo, pick him up and practically leap down the rows towards the meet and greet line. I make it there a split second before another mom. Did I mention I was the only black mother there. Of course she wasn't pleased. Neither were the other moms lining up behind. I didn't care. I looked at my son and repeated, it's our turn to meet Elmo.

What followed was a parental battle of wits to see who would make it to Elmo first. This mom tried sneaking past me with her 3 kids but I held my position. I moved directly in front of her and blocked her advance every time. I worked hard to get to this moment. My son will have his Elmo experience. On time. Not after.

When it was our turn to meet Elmo and Abby, I breathed a sigh of relief and satisfaction. My job was done. My son would meet Elmo. As I watched my son pose for photos and give Elmo a hug, my heart was filled.

It's not everyday a child gets to have experiences like these. Many children will never get to do all the things my son does. Many children won't have their dreams come true. I know what it's like to be a child and not have your dreams come true. Now as a parent, I want different for my son. When I can, I'll work hard to make his dreams come true.

Because dreams are made to become reality. My parents didn't raise me to think this way, I learn this life lesson the hard way. But I want my son growing up with this mindset. I want him to understand whatever he can dream about, he has the power to make real.

Meeting Elmo is just a start of me proving this point.

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Does My Son Like Big and Chunky Girls?

Today we went to the playground. Nothing out the ordinary about that. As usual Daniel made friends with the other kids playing. Nothing out the ordinary about that either. Until I noticed one little girl had caught Daniel's attention.

As I watched them they started an exclusive game of tag. Which was funny because my son did 2 laps around the slide while this little girl could barely keep up with him. In all fairness my son is a bit of a athlete while this little girl.... how to put it delicately....was a bit chunky and not quite so athletic.

They held hands and ran all around the playground. They were having a great time and my son didn't seem to mind this little girl had a few extra pounds to her. That I though was interesting. Will my son have a thing for curvy girls?!

As I watched them I couldn't help but think of this scene from Madagascar 2 between Moto Moto and Gloria

Yeah I know I'm reading into it all but it's still interesting....and funny...in good way.

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Celebrating a Relaxed 4th of July

This week has been insanely hot so I didn't to want run around outside visiting friends and family for 4th of July. We love our friends and family but not when it's 90 degrees outside. Besides Daniel really doesn't do well in super hot weather. He starts turning all red faced and irate. Better to keep him cool and happy. And me sane.

So I decided to check out the 17th Annual July 4th Harlem Children's Parade. I never been to it but it's in our local neighborhood, family friendly, and ends with a fire truck turning on their water hose to spray water so the kids can have some water fun. Sounds good to me!

During the parade families follow the fire truck along it's mini route until it's loop back to the start. Daniel and I opted out of leaving the cool shade of the park and waited with other families for the trucks return. Once the firetruck came back, it wasn't long till the water works started

At first Daniel wasn't feeling the crowd of people and all that noise. He's so my kid. But he soon changed his mind after seeing all the fun the other kids were having. Plus I gave him a firm push into the crowd. We were there for cool water fun not standing on the sidelines!

After my firm but loving push into the crowd, he joined in and began a rain dance. I swear that's what it looked like to me. LOL. He was soon splashing and kick around in the water along with the other kids. I thought he'd be at it for a while but he soon had enough fun and decided he wanted to leave. Did I mention he's so my son?

Truth be told I was getting annoyed with the other parents who kept jumping in front of me like it was their right. I had to firmly tap one women and ask her to move aside so I can see my kid. She gave me a look but did move out my way. She better had. I don't have to tell you these parents were white. Black folks don't act like that. Tsk!

Since Daniel was over the water fun and now all wet, he decided he wanted to take a walk into the park. Eh. At least he'll dry off. While walking in the park we came across a family of geese. I had to warn Daniel NOT to run up on them cause they will fight back. I can't promise I'll fight with those geese on his behalf. Have you seen angry geese?!

After he was all dry and finish with his walk in the park, it was time to eat. Daniel doesn't play when it comes time to eat. So we made a quick stop to Wendy's for chicken nuggets and french fries before heading home for a nice long nap. I'd say that was a good way to start and end our 4th of July.

What did your family do to celebrate 4th of July?

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Future Monster Jam Truck Driver? - Wordless Wednesday

After all our fun at the Monster Jam Show (read all my posts here), I bet my son is thinking about driving his own Monster Truck!

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The Importance of the Blasian Play Dates

Today after picking my son up from the bus, and finding replacement shoes for the ones thrown out the window, we headed over to the park for a play date. I confess it's been a while since I hung out with the other Japanese moms with blasian kids in my area. I see them on a regular while walking around, but tend to say hi and bye quickly and then go on my way.

I KNOW we should get the kids together again but honestly I feel a bit out of place being the only black mom surrounded by Asian moms. Can you fault me for that? It ain't easy looking like the babysitter. Tsk!

But recently with all the "what color am I" questions I've been dealing with from my son I have to acknowledge it ain't easy for him either. The same need to see someone like himself is in his head and heart also. It's not fair to keep him away. And so we....I....finally made plans for a blasian play date. This time with only one Japanese mom and her son. I figured I wouldn't look to much like a babysitter with those odds.

So off to the park we went with two rumbustious boys. As the moms sat and discussed school and other mom related issues, the boys ran around and played tag. When they were tired of that, we formed teams and played soccer. Well we tried anyway. At age 4 and 5 they're not very good at really running and kicking the ball yet. Plus these kids cheat! There was lot of hand carrying and kicking out of turn. I wish I could have gotten a photo of the moms and sons playing but I was to busy blocking and refereeing soccer kicks. LOL

Soon the kids started getting tired, especially Daniel who didn't have a nap, and it was time to head home. As we walked back. Well we walked. The Japanese mom piggy backed her son. Is this an Asian mom thing? Cause I don't think a black mom will piggy back a 5 year old. I barely hip carry my 4 year old. Barely.

Anyway, the little boy kept asking if we're coming to their house now. I explained Daniel is tired and we need to go to our own house and rest. Then I promised we'd visit their house another day.

I promised and I mean to keep that promise.

Because this is the same little boy we meet months ago who was excited Daniel looked liked him. I'm sure it means something to this little boy to play with Daniel. I'm sure it's along the same lines of what it means to Daniel. Something I can identify with but never quite understand.

I know what it's like to want to see someone who looks like you. Who's brown like you. Who can identify with being "black" in this world. But I don't know what it's like to be biracial. To have the idea of different twice being part of your identity. I don't know what my son is thinking about being biracial beyond the questions he asks me. But maybe this little boy and other's blasian children like him does.

This is my son's community. I'm lucky that I found them. I need to allow him full access to it.....even if I do look like the babysitter.

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Chillin in the Stroller - Wordless Wednesday

Mister cool Daniel chilling in his stroller while waiting for me. I had to chuckle at his pose.

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Being THAT Selfish Mom

Ok, I'll admit it. I've been selfish. I'm not ashamed to admit it cause we all know it's true. I've been hoarding Daniel and all the cool things we've been doing to myself. Again. Even after I said I would share more. Again.

Are ya'll really going to blame me for not sharing? Wait. Don't answer that. I know some of ya'll are really opinionated. LOL

But really the ability of a mother to be selfish with her child I think is natural. There's that over protective thing the kicks in once we find out we're carrying a life. Once that life comes out I swear the selfishness "mine mine all mine" mind set kicks up another notch. I swear it does.

Truth be told I'm not sharing all the across the board. My family complains they don't get enough time with my son. My friends with kids complain I don't plan play dates with them anymore. Even my son's afternoon daycare complains I picked him up to early. That he doesn't get enough time to socialize with the other kids...and the teachers.

Excuse me?! I actually sorta got into with the daycare staff. I was all like....What wrong with a mother picking up her child earlier so she can spend more time with him? Didn't he do enough socializing with other kids and teachers at his morning school?! I'm not sure what they think of me now but they keep their thought to themselves and just frown when I pick him up. Early!

I admit, I'm slightly annoyed my son has to go to school anyway. LOL. No seriously. I've thought about home schooling. Seriously. I'm not a fan of the public school system, especially for a child with a learning delay. I'm not confidant they do all that they can. But that's a rant for another time.

I know, I'm a bit greedy with my son attention. I just want to enjoy it ALL myself as much as I can. While I can anyway. Soon enough I'll have to return back to work and no more mom and son fun days.

Even though I plan on working part time, there's still that break from each other. A break where someone else is trying to influence my son. Where other people are trying to make him see the world the way they want him to. I worry about that. Everyday I try to get MY thoughts and views instilled in my son to counter whatever people outside are whispering in his ear.

I know I'm working against a ticking time clock. Soon, very soon another jolt of testosterone will kick in and my son will start pulling away from me. I see it already. The hugs and kisses are less now. The "No's" and "I" wants are more forcefully now. Everyday he makes up his own mind about how he views life. Everyday he turns more into a male. Soon he'll be hanging out with other males and doing male things. Male things that don't allow for a mom need beyond feeding, clothing and drop off to some sport related place.

I know one day I'll have to let go. Or more like one day he'll pull away because I don't think I'll ever willing let him go. It's a mother's right to want to be selfish with her child. But we can't hide them away. As much as we would love to. Eventually they have to live and function in this world.

My mom recently said similar words to me when I was sulking that my son had to return to school after his first spring break. I was literally sad. My mom called me out. Selfish. I don't deny it. Then she explained how as parents we need to give space and allow our children to grow. I though that was a bit ironic coming from a women who still call her 38 year old daughter about 5 times a day. And texts me. More then 5 times a day. Hmm

But how do you start to let go? I thought I had started learning when my son started walking. Then when he started school. At all the different stages I thought I was learning about this letting go process. But each day that my son grows, that feeling of "Mine Mine All Mine" also grows within me and I feel like I learned NOTHING about letting go. Guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.

Meanwhile I really do need to update this blog so I have a record of the fun things we shared together (to obsess over) when THAT time comes.

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Black Breastfeeding 360: Resource for African American Community

Today's guest post comes via Kimberly Seals Allers, author, breastfeeding advocate, and founder of MochaManual.com – Onica, editor

I spend a lot of my time writing (loudly) about the problems I see in the world. Particularly, those affecting black mothers and babies. Over the past six years as I've been working as an author and commentator on the African American motherhood experience, I have become deeply frustrated by the lack of credible information or in depth analysis on black women and their breastfeeding experiences.

Nor was there one place for us to tell our story. For our voices to be heard on the matter.

For every story about the low breastfeeding rates among black women, there is rarely anything on the complexities and nuances of the problem—such as exploring the impact of media stereotypes, the residual effects of our nursing experiences during slavery, the role of infant formula marketing in black communities or the lack of multi-generational support, for example.

I recently came under a lot of fire for saying that the media hype over Beyonce’s breastfeeding moment blatantly ignored connecting the dots to black women—and the particular significance of having a black woman of Beyonce’s star power breastfeeding in public. And given that Beyonce was actually feeding an African American child, who is disproportionately less likely to be breastfed, I thought it was a huge failure on the media and the movement’s part not to mention the seemingly obvious connection.

I took a virtual beating.

But the fact is, the media has a history of failing to accurately include black women in the collective breastfeeding “story.” And we haven’t had a place to tell our story.

Until now.

This week, I launched a new online resource called Black Breastfeeding 360°, to offer a never-seen-before comprehensive view into the black breastfeeding experience, to shed light on the shadings and gradations that frame this critical issue, to offer a forum for developing workable strategies, add the human element to the statistics and to amplify the authentic voices of black mothers and fathers.

I’ve spent months interviewing experts, advocates, mothers, fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers on their thoughts and experiences with and about breastfeeding in our community. Mothers, fathers, grandparents, and even my “wasband”, have called in to share their thoughts and challenges. The result is an international collection of articles, interviews and research along with audio and video “diaries” of black mothers and fathers in the U.S. and abroad sharing their breastfeeding perspectives.

BB360° will serve as a global resource to the media to help them better understand the black breastfeeding experience as they research and report on this matter. The articles, interviews and commentaries can be downloaded for FREE by any online or offline publication.

But most importantly, it is a place for black men and women to get helpful resources and hear the voices and see the faces of other breastfeeding women all over the world. It is a place to show the world who black mothers are, and for the media to take notice.

This is our breastfeeding experience. And it is our story to tell. Please join me in welcoming Black Breastfeeding 360°.

Please visit: http://mochamanual.com/bb360
Follow Us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlackBF360
Like Us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BB360

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The Rock Role Model - Wordless Wednesday

What are the odds that I'd walk past this poster today?! As I looked at my son standing before? under? Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, I thought what a great role model. I know many of you might think I say that because I'm somewhat madly in love with The Rock but that's only partly the reason.

I think The Rock is a good role model for little boys like my son because of the way he's lived his life. Heck for the way he continues to live his life. He's no mixed race negative statistic. Oh no. He's proud of his American Samoan heritage and honors it.

As my son grows I hope he'll keep men like Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson in his mind and as a guideline on the way to becoming his own man.

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Toddler Story Teller - Wordless Wednesday

At the library my son reads a story to his stuff animal friend.

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School Breakfast - Wordless Wednesday

Today school breakfast included an English muffin.

And a nice box milk.

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Our First Preschool Christmas Play & Party

When did my son get old enough to be in his first Christmas play?! This was the thought in my head as I rushed from work after my staff meeting. I was hoping to be in time to see him sing and dance. But as I glanced at my watch I knew I would miss his class performance. Damn. But at least I could be there for him for the rest of the daycare's holiday party.

As I guessed I arrived after his class performance but the daycare was so packed I doubt he noticed *whew*. So I found his class and made sure I greeted him with a big kiss and hug. I tried to make a big deal about his reindeer hat, but he was unimpressed with my gushing. LOL. Apparently the kids didn't nap earlier in the day and they were all tired. As I stood there I wondered why his hat had to be the one that was ripped. This kid!

We then joined his class, headed back into his class room to wait for a visit from Santa! When Santa arrived he called all the kids by name to come up and get their presents. Daniel needed some encouragement aka a push to go get his gift from Santa. He's not really a fan of the white guy dressed in red and white. LOL

After getting his gifts, a truck in one package and clothes in the other, it was time for him to give me gifts! In class Daniel had made a picture frame and baked cookies! I tried getting him to hold up his picture frame but he was to busy admiring his skill and creativity. LOL

We then had a snack, said goodbyes to the kids and teachers and headed off to start our holiday. Well at least he did, I had to return to work and finish what I was working on. *sigh* But I didn't care I had to stay long at work after everyone else had gone home. Being able to be there for my son is always worth it.

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Lowe’s Stores versus Muslims in America

Recently there was an up roar over Lowe’s Home Improvement pulling its ads from the TLC show All-American Muslim in response to an organization claiming the show "falsely humanized Muslims in America.”

I was a bit disappointed by the Lowe's brand actions but not really surprised. Still it was encouraging to see the reaction for supporters of the show and the American Muslim community, like high profile celebrity Russell Simmons who spoke out against Lowe's actions

But it's not just celebrities who are speaking out against Islamophobia in America. I recently learned about the My Fellow American project, which is trying to prevent and overcome racial issues like this in America.

Visitors to the site can share what controversies like this means to them. There's also various content to help spread the message of tolerance from various entertainers and faith leaders on this topic.

Check out the site and let me know what you think - www.myfellowamerican.us

Toddler Winter Arts & Crafts #vlog

Today at my son's daycare/preschool they had a winter festive with different arts and crafts for the kids. The parents were invited to tag along but after all the days and half days I took at work to do things for Daniel, my boss was done. No chance of her allowing me to leave early yet again. So no arts and crafts for me. Thankfully Daniel was able to bring home all the crafts he did during the festival and share with me.

In the below video, I take them out one by one to share with you :) Hands down my favorite is the winter photo frame. :)

At the end of this vlog I shared my thoughts on how I feel as a working who misses school events like this. It's very hard to deal with when I can't be there to do school activities with my son. I always want to be there for my son but I know I need keep working to support us. My only other choice is to find a rich man and becomes a house wife...not likely to happen.... Being a working mom can be frustrating at times like these. I know more moments like this will come as my son grows and his school require more parent interaction and support. Sometimes I wonder what schoosl think? Don't they know parents need to work to pay for school fees and trip cost?! How can I do both things?! Ugh But then I remind myself I can only do what I can. Sometimes he's going to have me there and sometimes he's not. Hopefully for those moments when I'm not there for some activity, we can share what he did after. During the "after" moments I can Oh and AH and I can tell him how proud I am of him. Hopefully being there "after" can be just as good. Hopefully.

A Thankful Moment as a Working Mom

When preschool asked me to attend my son's class thanksgiving lunch, I started panicking. The lunch was in the middle of the day during a very short week. I already was in the middle of a major product push to meet a tight deadline. How to explain to my boss I needed to leave the office for a few hours to go to my son's school for lunch?

I knew it'd be a problem but I braved my supervisor and mention I'll be a little late getting back from taking an early lunch. Immediately her head snapped up from the pile of papers in front of her, her eyes narrowed and she asked. Are you going somewhere during lunch?

After taking a deep breath, I told her I was joining my son's class for lunch. Her come back? Guess I can't make you NOT have lunch. My reply? No you can't. LOL

As a working mom I'm always juggling demands of work and my son. While I enjoy being a good employee, being a mother is always first for me. Did I need to be at my son's school thanksgiving lunch? Maybe not but I wanted to go and I'm glad I went.

As I sat with my son, sharing a meal I was thankful to have this moment with him. Even though he ate out all my corn bread.

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VIP Treatment for Happy Feet 2 & Breaking Dawn Movie

It's been a while since I took Daniel to the movies. Since Happy Feet 2 released this weekend I decided it was time we went. I texted my sister, who works at a movie theater in our area, and told her we're coming. Of course she was happy to let Daniel in to the movies. Since I was a tag along she had to let me in also. LOL

After meeting up with her, she walked Daniel over to get his tickets and 3D glasses. Then she wanted Daniel's cup so he can get free juice refills. I tell you this kid has it so good. She wanted to give him popcorn also but I'm over protective and don't let Daniel have movie popcorn. We settled on a pretzel instead. We gave my sister a quick thank you for the free tickets and then we settled in for Happy Feet 2.

At this point I should mention that I saw the first Happy Feet movie with Daniel's dad 4 years ago. Can you imagine the irony I felt sitting there watching the continuation of a movie where the couple now has a family storyline? Specifically about a father conflict with his son?

Some parts made me sad, while some parts made me laugh. Gosh that Spanish penguin is a riot. I wont tell you to much about the movie in case you haven't see it yet but it's very touching. Especially when Erik finally realizes how wonderful his father is *sniff, sniff*

For the most part Daniel enjoyed the movie but did start to get restless towards the end. Which was fine since I snuck us over to the next theater to see Twilight: Breaking Dawn. I didn't expect him to watch the movie but oddly he did. For some reason he only like the parts with the "doggies". LOL. . During the non doggies parts, he tried to dance in the isles or ask me if the movie is finish...very loudly. Clearly he's on Team Jacob like his mom.

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