Today after picking my son up from the bus, and finding replacement shoes for the ones thrown out the window, we headed over to the park for a play date. I confess it's been a while since I hung out with the other Japanese moms with blasian kids in my area. I see them on a regular while walking around, but tend to say hi and bye quickly and then go on my way.
I KNOW we should get the kids together again but honestly I feel a bit out of place being the only black mom surrounded by Asian moms. Can you fault me for that? It ain't easy looking like the babysitter. Tsk!
But recently with all the "what color am I" questions I've been dealing with from my son I have to acknowledge it ain't easy for him either. The same need to see someone like himself is in his head and heart also. It's not fair to keep him away. And so we....I....finally made plans for a blasian play date. This time with only one Japanese mom and her son. I figured I wouldn't look to much like a babysitter with those odds.
So off to the park we went with two rumbustious boys. As the moms sat and discussed school and other mom related issues, the boys ran around and played tag. When they were tired of that, we formed teams and played soccer. Well we tried anyway. At age 4 and 5 they're not very good at really running and kicking the ball yet. Plus these kids cheat! There was lot of hand carrying and kicking out of turn. I wish I could have gotten a photo of the moms and sons playing but I was to busy blocking and refereeing soccer kicks. LOL
Soon the kids started getting tired, especially Daniel who didn't have a nap, and it was time to head home. As we walked back. Well we walked. The Japanese mom piggy backed her son. Is this an Asian mom thing? Cause I don't think a black mom will piggy back a 5 year old. I barely hip carry my 4 year old. Barely.
Anyway, the little boy kept asking if we're coming to their house now. I explained Daniel is tired and we need to go to our own house and rest. Then I promised we'd visit their house another day.
I promised and I mean to keep that promise.
Because this is the same little boy we meet months ago who was excited Daniel looked liked him. I'm sure it means something to this little boy to play with Daniel. I'm sure it's along the same lines of what it means to Daniel. Something I can identify with but never quite understand.
I know what it's like to want to see someone who looks like you. Who's brown like you. Who can identify with being "black" in this world. But I don't know what it's like to be biracial. To have the idea of different twice being part of your identity. I don't know what my son is thinking about being biracial beyond the questions he asks me. But maybe this little boy and other's blasian children like him does.
This is my son's community. I'm lucky that I found them. I need to allow him full access to it.....even if I do look like the babysitter.