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Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Importance of the Blasian Play Dates

Today after picking my son up from the bus, and finding replacement shoes for the ones thrown out the window, we headed over to the park for a play date. I confess it's been a while since I hung out with the other Japanese moms with blasian kids in my area. I see them on a regular while walking around, but tend to say hi and bye quickly and then go on my way.

I KNOW we should get the kids together again but honestly I feel a bit out of place being the only black mom surrounded by Asian moms. Can you fault me for that? It ain't easy looking like the babysitter. Tsk!

blasian play date

But recently with all the "what color am I" questions I've been dealing with from my son I have to acknowledge it ain't easy for him either. The same need to see someone like himself is in his head and heart also. It's not fair to keep him away. And so we....I....finally made plans for a blasian play date. This time with only one Japanese mom and her son. I figured I wouldn't look to much like a babysitter with those odds.

blasian play date

So off to the park we went with two rumbustious boys. As the moms sat and discussed school and other mom related issues, the boys ran around and played tag. When they were tired of that, we formed teams and played soccer. Well we tried anyway. At age 4 and 5 they're not very good at really running and kicking the ball yet. Plus these kids cheat! There was lot of hand carrying and kicking out of turn. I wish I could have gotten a photo of the moms and sons playing but I was to busy blocking and refereeing soccer kicks. LOL

blasian play date

Soon the kids started getting tired, especially Daniel who didn't have a nap, and it was time to head home. As we walked back. Well we walked. The Japanese mom piggy backed her son. Is this an Asian mom thing? Cause I don't think a black mom will piggy back a 5 year old. I barely hip carry my 4 year old. Barely.

Anyway, the little boy kept asking if we're coming to their house now. I explained Daniel is tired and we need to go to our own house and rest. Then I promised we'd visit their house another day.

I promised and I mean to keep that promise.

Because this is the same little boy we meet months ago who was excited Daniel looked liked him. I'm sure it means something to this little boy to play with Daniel. I'm sure it's along the same lines of what it means to Daniel. Something I can identify with but never quite understand.

I know what it's like to want to see someone who looks like you. Who's brown like you. Who can identify with being "black" in this world. But I don't know what it's like to be biracial. To have the idea of different twice being part of your identity. I don't know what my son is thinking about being biracial beyond the questions he asks me. But maybe this little boy and other's blasian children like him does.

This is my son's community. I'm lucky that I found them. I need to allow him full access to it.....even if I do look like the babysitter.

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at: June 8, 2012 at 8:23 AM said...

I think that's just awesome that he has someone to play with that he can relate to. I need to do that for my daughter, but I know I either have to search heavily for it, or move out my current area.

I know we're out there, just need to find us all.

at: June 8, 2012 at 1:57 PM said...

Good for you. It's important for blasians to know that there are other blasians out there. I am a blasian myself. My mom is Korean and my dad is black. I can understand that you feel out of your element because you're the only black mom.
I'm not really sure how accepting the Japanese culture is but I do not feel accepted within the Korean culture (unless I'm with my Korean mom). It's sad. I really wish we could just all get along. I really hope you and your son will continue to break the racial barriers!

MsXpat says:
at: June 10, 2012 at 9:19 AM said...

I hear you on that. Its even harder in the UK. To date I've only met one such child and mom but the mom's Chinese. You have inspired me to reach out, as she seems to really nice and also expecting her 2nd blasian baby, like me, in the winter :0) I its funny and is not that I'm no thrilled when my son calls me 'mommy' in public. He's just started saying it a few weeks ago. I beam with pride every time I hear it :0)

Bicultural Mama says:
at: June 11, 2012 at 11:49 PM said...

What a great, thoughtful post. I think you're doing a great thing. I know I will want to do the same for my daughter. Fortunately there seem to be a lot of Asian/White mixed kids around. I don't really know any Blasian kids in my area so maybe it's not as commonplace.

Nikki @BlasianBaby says:
at: June 12, 2012 at 3:43 AM said...

@ bloggingwhilenursing, trying searching local moms meetups and online groups. With a little research you'll be amazed who you'll find. I found my moms just walking in my neighborhood

@ Anonymous, Im not sure about the Japanese culture either but so far these mom seem to be accepting. Could be cause their kids are mixed also. I think Koreans can be accepting but you sorta have to break through to them. I've had my son accepted by them and me to a degree :)

@ MsXpat, for now reach out for support from any mom with a blasian child you can. It about giving the kids the images and support they need. Us black moms will have to hang in their till we can find others black moms for support. Thank goodness for the internet!

@ Bicultural Mama, Actually you might be surprised to find out who's blasian in your area. Many don't standout as much as you'd think. I bet if you started looking you'll find many black and asian families.