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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Proud to Have a Son - Dear Daniel Saturday

It's Saturday! Time for a Dear Daniel letter

in bed taking photos

Dear Daniel

Today when grandma came to visit and share family gossip about your aunt's (my sister's) pregnancy, she reminded me of the time I was pregnant with you. We reminisced how I knew right away I was pregnant and how it was exciting news for the family. You don't know this but the family has been waiting for me to have a child for the longest time.

But in my mind and heart I wasn't ready yet. What was I waiting on? I'm not sure but when I met your dad and started planning for you, it seems the right time for me. Both my heart and mind agreed so your dad and I conceived you.

But being pregnant with you had an interesting twist. Your dad and I would try and guess whether you'd be female or male. He said male, I said female. I felt 110 % that you'd be a little girl with curly hair, dimples and a caramel skin-tone. I planned on braiding your hair, helping you play with dolls and when you were older explaining the mystery of men to you.

So imagine my surprise when at my 2nd sonogram I saw something I wasn't expecting on my girl baby. Then the 3 little words I didn't expect to hear was said. It's a Boy!

I wont lie to you my son, I nearly cried. I asked the technician if she was sure even thought I clearly saw your defining male anatomy. She pointed to the same area I was staring at in disbelief and firmly said...Yes, It's a boy.

in bed taking photos

My mom reminded me of that moment. When she saw how disappointed I was, she wondered how it would be for me when you were born. Well 3 years later, she laughs at it and her worry. Do you know why?

Because I am proud to have a son!

Yes, it took me some time to adjust to the world of little boys and the craziness that come with it. Why you run around jumping on things I'll never figure out. But I admit it's fun to watch. I enjoy that you bring such joy and excitement to everything you do. I love your fearlessness, even though sometimes it give me extra gray hair.

I love that your not afraid of bugs, getting dirty or dancing around outside on a snowy day.....like you did today. I enjoy playing with your trains or building blocks high, only to turn around and knock them down. I enjoy your hugs, even though it feels like you have me in a headlock.

in bed taking photos

I even enjoy watching your assertive personality develop. Yes I admit I was miffed when you started telling me NO or demanding I should COME ON when your ready to go outside. But I understand it's the testosterone making you talk like you aint got no sense!

As I watch the little man in you develop, I have no regrets about you not being a girl. The bond we share as mother and son is solid and I can't imagine my world without you. Everyday you inspire me in so many ways and make me proud to say I gave birth to a son. You are MY SON and I'll love you always. Don't ever forget that.

Your Umma

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4 comments:

Luna Raven says:
at: October 30, 2011 at 8:52 PM said...

I love this! What a wonderful thing to write him letters he can read someday and see a whole other side of you, really seeing you. I think more parents should take the time and I thank you for sharing!

Yakini @ThePrissyMommy says:
at: October 30, 2011 at 9:00 PM said...

I really loved this. I can definitely relate to the feeling of wanting, and expecting a girl... and the shock in finding out its a boy. But, also like you, i wouldnt trade it with the world. Having boys is so fun and so special - I love it so much and would have 2 boys all over again if given the choice.

Bicultural Mama says:
at: October 30, 2011 at 9:50 PM said...

So sweet, what a heartfelt letter to your son. It's so great you are writing these for him to read later when he's older. Your love for him is so strong!

Kalley C says:
at: October 31, 2011 at 9:29 AM said...

This is a beautiful letter to your son. Pregnancy is so funny. You can decide to get pregnant, but you don't really have a choice as to what sex your child will be.

It's always a reminder to me that some things are just out of my hands.