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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

My "I’m Not the Nanny" Interview on Lifetime Moms MisQuote

A few months ago Kimberly Seals Allers (author of The Mocha Manual) mentioned she wanted to interview me for post on the Lifetime Moms site. Since meeting Kimberly a while back we've talked about black motherhood and what are the issues raising a child who's mono-racial versus biracial. So I was excited to be "interviewed" by her to be posted on such a high profile site.

Lifetime Moms Interview

For the most part the interview went well. While we did get side track with a few personal topics, LOL, we pretty much stuck to topic. The question weren't that hard and since I already knew Kimberly, I answered honestly and without censor. But after reading the "I’m Not the Nanny": Raising a Black and Asian Child completed interview on the site I wondered if I should have been more aware of how the things I said would be interpreted by someone outside the Asian and Black community.

For the most part the interview is great and conveys my thoughts and responses to the questions Kimberly asked. For the most part. There's one paragraph about my reaction to having a child who looks more Asian then black that is a bit misconstrued. The wording gives a certain portrayal that is VERY different then what I said. Or rather what I thought I said.

I can honestly say that I know Kimberly wrote what she heard. Sister girlfriend wouldn't write something with the intention of making any drama. So where did things go wrong? While I said one thing and thought Kimberly understood what I meant, in reality she didn't. To be fair how could she?

The internal dialogue of adjusting to a child who doesn't have much African American physical resemblance is something another mom with a half black biracial child would understand. That internal adjustment doesn't mean we're ashamed or embarrassed that your children looks different.

While you can try and explain to others it doesn't always come across on the right note. After thinking about it for a while I figured this is what happened. So I contacted Kimberly, explained how what I said can be misinterpreted and asked that the paragraph be edited. Kimberly apologized and said she'll look into getting it changed

As of the time of posting this blog that change hasn't been made but I'm hoping it will be soon. But even if it doesn't get changed (but I really hope it does) I'm more then prepared to clarify what I really meant. In a way I'm glad that happened because it made me realize that I need to be more aware of how what I say comes across to someone outside my community.

As I push forward with advocating for the Asian & Black Community and Black mothers with biracial children, I don't mind sharing about some of the challenges we face as a blended family. But I don't want those challenges over shadowing all the love, wonderment and joys of having a blended family. I promise to be more aware for next time.

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MsXpat says:
at: August 11, 2011 at 3:35 PM said...

I read the article, a few minutes ago.I don't know if what bit you were concerned about has already been edited, but I thought the peace was open, honest and truly shows that you are still learning things as you go. My son is still only a baby, so at the moment we just get the stares of amazement.I do wonder when he gets to school age, how will society have altered and how I'd deal with a scenario that you had in the park. There is no easy answer. I think we can only we honest and make all decisions with love.