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Monday, June 27, 2011

Recovering from a Forgotten 3rd Birthday

I started my morning at work crying in my supervisors office. We were going over the status of projects I was working on, when she asked if I need anything. I replied I needed a hug because my day started off badly. When I dropped my son off at my families this morning, my sister wished my son happy birthday. Oh no! While in the back of my mind I knew his birthday was this week, I totally forgot it was exactly today. This is the 2nd most important day in my life! How could I have forgotten?! I felt so awful!

happy 3rd birthday song

Usually on his birthday morning I like to sing the happy birthday song to my son and have a special snuggle moment just us two. But this morning there was no song or cuddle moment. Ugh. Ugh. I told my facebook community and they were very supportive of my bad mommy moment. Most felt he wouldn't even notice. But still I felt I couldn't let the day past without doing something.

As I wiped my tears, I vowed I'd make it up to my son when I got home.

What did I do? I gave him his own private birthday party. Of course I knew there'd be a mini riot from friends and family not invited to the party so I made a video. Yup, you can all sing along and wish Daniel a happy birthday. Get ready, set, sing!

After his song, he happily ate his piece of banana cake. Funny thing about the cake choice. He was the one who picked it so I don't wanna hear an asian & black, yellow & brown smart mouth references about his cake choice, LOL

Feel free to leave comment so when I finally make this blog into a book he can see how many people wished him a happy 3rd birthday.

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Sunday, June 19, 2011

The "Black" Dad Stand In

These days my son has been spending a lot of time over by my Mother;s place. Which means he's spending more time with other family members like my uncle, who's his great uncle. Recently my uncle told me about something very strange that Daniel has started doing. For some reason only known to him, Daniel has started calling my uncle Daddy.

black dad fathers day
black dad fathers day

At first I thought it was just a misunderstanding. Maybe he was trying to say another word and it came out as Daddy. Nope. My son was clearly calling my uncle his daddy. Now you should know that my uncle is as dark as I am but it doesn't seem to matter to Daniel.

As if that wasn't bad enough I noticed Daniel started calling ANY dark skin man daddy. At first I wasn't sure so I started testing him while were outside. I'd point to a light skin man and ask who's that. Daniel would say boy or something related. Then I'd point to a dark skin man and Daniel would say daddy.

*scratching my head*

black dad fathers day

I couldn't figure out why all the dark skinned guys were daddy to him. Could it be because I (mommy) am dark skinned? Come to think of it most of my family is also. So did he just associate dark black people as family and now a dark skinned black men are daddies? Maybe but still that didn't explain why he started now and why based on skin-tone.

My son knows what he's Father looks like, I've shown him photos and explained that's his daddy. While he calls these dark skinned men daddy, it seems it's just a title. He doesn't seem to think of them as directly his daddy. He seemed to understand but still......

black dad fathers day
black dad fathers day

So I started thinking of all the men in his life that can have a direct impact on him. Oddly most of them are black. From my Uncles to my son's Godfather. All black.

black dad fathers day
black dad fathers day

Heck even those guys I know from the internet or in the neighborhood that try and take on a Father's type role with my son are black. Yes there's some Asian and Spanish guys who try to sneak in but mostly the black men hold it down with my son.

I thought that was funny. As I sit here this 3rd Father's Day of my son's life without his real Dad, I'm so grateful that I found men who look past all racial boundaries and embrace a little boy trying to find his way to male-hood. It really wasn't many intention to put the image of a "black" daddy into my son's mind but there it is....


Saturday, June 11, 2011

Toddler Couch Olympics - Dear Daniel Saturday

It's Saturday! Time for a Dear Daniel letter

jumping on couch

Dear Daniel

If I've told you once I've told you a thousands times to STOP jumping on the couch but do you listen? Clearly your not listening to me. I don't know what to do. I've spoken to you nicely, I've yelled, I've firmly removed from said couch and asked you to jump on the floor. But none of that works. Still the daredevil in you prompts instant couch jumping as soon as I leave the room.

As I watch you attempt leaps, kicks and other acrobatic feats, I wonder if your training for some toddler couch Olympics I don't know about. That has to be it. Are you training in secret? Did a special note get passed to you while you were on the slide showing off you hangman skills? It's the only thing I can think of why you keep trying to give me a heartache or tempt a trip to the emergency room for a broken body part.

Well if you're getting ready for some imaginary toddler couch Olympics, from the way you've been training I'm sure you'll bring home the first prize. Then all this new gray hair I've gotten will be worth it.

Love you always,
Your Umma

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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Yes my son is biracial, No explanation needed

When is it ever okay to ask someone you don't know something personal about their lives? Why can't people leave a sleeping tiger alone? I've been nice and quiet, for the most part, in the blog world but I should have know that wouldn't last. So I'm minding my business when I get a tweet asking me why I put on my twitter profile that my son is biracial? WTF

euphoria luv

Really this is an old question. Within these past 2 years I've been asked different versions of the same question. Why do you say your son is biracial? Why are you pointing out his race mix? etc etc etc. People are constantly asking me to explain myself and my son's heritage.

But why are people asking me this? What business is it of their's how I chose to identify myself or my son. It's getting to the point now that I'm tempted to tell people straight up...It's none of your damn business. What you asking me for? Were you there that night 3 years ago when I conceived him? No? Then back up off me and let me live!

Really, really, what is it with people NEEDING to ask?! As if that's not bad enough then people get upset that I'm not answering them. Like I own them a damn explanation why I say my son is biracial, Get the fck out my face with that BS. My son is biracial. My son is black and asian. My son is blasian. And until he personally decides to self identify and claim his birthright as a biracial person to say different, then I'll keep saying he's all of these races and more.

It just burns me that people keep trying to make the fact that he's biracial a issue of some sort. What is the issue? Am I suppose to be ashamed or something? Fck that. I'm proud to be a mom of a biracial child and refuse to let anyone try and make me feel different.