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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Bringing Moms from Online to Offline

Today we enjoyed another playdate with Sheila and her son. Even though Daniel isn’t a fan of the water sprinklers we decide on a trip to a kiddie water park since the days have been so hot.

After settling the kids in to their favorite sections...Daniel by the play gym and William by the sprinklers...we started chatting while wandering around the playground. During one of our convo I told her about the drama in one of the facebook groups where the parents of blasian kids insisted on saying their children are black and should be thought of as black based on their facial features. The father in petictular felt his daughter’s curly hair, full lips and "black" nose would automatically set them up for discrimination.

This of course upset me very much and I'm going to blog about why over on the Euphoria Luv blog since this is a community issue...not just a mommy issue. I was glad to have someone to vent with that I didn't need to explain the background of the asian black community to. She understood my feeling and fears as a mom trying to figure out how to prepare my biracial son for unexpected issues.

As our various convo continued I watched our sons play and felt so blessed that I started the Mothers of Blasian and Asian Children (MOBAC) group. I've been struggling with the thought of closing it due to what I felt was the lack of activity within the group. While I saw mothers connecting on a personal level outside of the group, I felt the group should been more active with discussion flying back and forth. After all I saw this happening with other moms in other mommy groups.

But what I realized as I talked to Sheila is that there's a real need for my group. Our situation is so unique that it's truly helpful to know another mom in the community who can really be a source of comfort. In general, as mothers we all share a common bond no matter our racial background. But I have to confess that when dealing with some issues it's nice to have another mother of a blasian/multiracial child give a listening ear. I hope I can continue my vision to make my group MOBAC a connection place for moms like me.


T.Allen-Mercado says:
at: August 23, 2009 at 12:38 PM said...

How nice to be able to get together tete a tete and share thoughts and ideas.

Re: the racial specificity issue, I do not agree with the father's decision to negate any part of his child's racial/cultural identity-but I think I can shed some insight as the parent of bi-racial children as to where the thought process comes from. There is a fallacy that Black communities are more accepting of mixed/bi-racial children than others because we come in so many different hues. This belief system is generally perpetrated by people who haven't experienced the rigors of hueism within Black communities and how, we by trying to "pass" our children off disingenuously place stigma on the part of their identities which is being ignored. Only through full education and acceptance of their identity and the battles abound in this race-crazed society will they become whole. I hope that helps.

I have a post up at Moms of Hue about a recent hueism experience involving my child-have a read.