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Sunday, April 21, 2013

sleepy moment thoughts


As I usually do each morning, I rolled over and watched my son while he slept. As I watch him all sorts of thoughts ran around in my head.

My hopes for him. My fears for him. My promises to him that I need to keep.

We've been have these sleepy moments since before my son's birth. When I was pregant with him, I would lay in bed and talk/think to him. Sometimes verbal, sometimes non verbal using that connection forged between us in blood, skin and genetics.

When he was birthed, I continued enjoying these moments but now I could gaze at his newly birth features in wonder. These sleepy moments were also a time to get a sneak peek into his thoughts and development. It was in those moments that I saw his first smilies and heard his first words.

These sleepy moments are very special in other way. It's also during these moments when I take stock of our lives and my abilities as his mother.

Lately, I've also started taking notice of him and how much he's grown.

Right now he's at the crusph of a 4 y/o turning into a 5 y/o. I wonder what this new year and stage of life will mean for him.

I also wonder what it will mean for myself.

It's no secret that parenting is a challenge. While I don't complain or moan and groan about it, I can never deny that being a parent is to the bone painful. In some ways painful beautiful. In many ways painfully not.

But parents aren't the only ones going through growing pains. Our children go through them also. Lately my son has been dealing with some growing pains of his own. I try to support him as much as I can, but in reality he must start figuring things out himself.

As his mom I worry and instictly always want to protect but


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