On the way to our morning activity, I passed by a man and women standing in front a building. In truth I didn't really look at them. When I heard my name called, I looked back at the women to see if I knew her. As I stood there frowning, cause I sure didn't know her, the guy walked into view. As I looked at him it all came back in a rush. Ah Gabriel, my Romanian ex boyfriend!
Now it's been over 10 years since we last saw each other. We ended (sorta) our relationship on semi good terms. Our relationship didn't work because I had no interest in moving to Romain, where he was building a house and wanted to settle down and live. Hello! I'm a black women and Romania is COLD!
But also we were at different points in our lives. He was a lil older, with a European view of life and I was a young wild new yorker, living the carefree life. We floated back and forth into each others lives for a bit until I married then we sorta put things on permanent pause.
Ah how things have changed. Now we're both older with kids!
As he stood there telling me about his life, I became sad. But not for him. Since the last time we saw each other, he did go through some bad times with family drama, some minor drug abuse and then being surprised with a baby. But he shared after the birth of his daughter (who's half black) he was motivated to change his life. He cleaned things up and got his life back on track. Now things are good for him. He finished his 3 story house in Romanian, his daughter spends half the year there, speaks better Romanians then him and is loved and accepted within his culture.
Damn. Talk about depressing! As I stood there listening to him, I was happy for him. I really was. But I became sad for myself. Gabe had become the man my son's father should have become.
The man who was motivated to be more after the birth of his child. In this case the child he begged me to have.
The man who sobered up, got off drugs, got a stable job and accomplished his goals.
The man who proudly shows off pictures of his child and brags about how well the child is learning his language and culture.
The man I saw in him and feel in love with. But the man standing in front of me is not my baby daddy. He's an ex who did what my son's father couldn't do. Damn.
As the conversation turned to my son and his father, what could I say? Nothing but the truth. My son's father choose to live a different lifestyle then the one we planned so I'm doing it on my own.
Gabe shared he's also doing it on his own. He has full custody of his daughter and is single. *side eye and a wink* We should all hangout one day.
As I looked at him. I mean REALLY looked at him, I wondered.... Now that we're older and wiser in life and love, only time will tell how our renewed friendship develops. But at least he showed me that some men do change for the better after Fatherhood and there's hope for me yet.