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Thursday, November 24, 2011

Celebrating Thanksgiving as a Step Family?

My original Thanksgiving plans was to stay at home and enjoy some mom and son time. But Gabriel (the Romain ex-boyfriend) invited us to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family.

thanksgiving as step family

Really he invited me over to cook Thanksgiving dinner with him, but I don't know what he was thinking since neither one of us ever cooked a whole Turkey before. I suspect it was more about bringing our families together to see if things gelled or not.

A few days back we started a conversation on the idea of us getting together. The conversation didn't end well since we had very different ideas about what "getting together" meant. After a timeout we agreed to be just friends.

So today I headed to Queens to be with my "just a friend" and his family.

thanksgiving as step family
thanksgiving as step family

Gabriel and his daughter met us at the train station and things just flowed smooth from there. His daughter and Daniel instantly started playing. I mean instantly. They started playing tag as we walked down the block to the apartment. Once inside Daniel discovered her car and they spent some time driving it around.

thanksgiving as step family

Gabriel and I shared a beer..or two...and sat watching sports (him) and talking (me). As the day went on, in some ways I fell into the women's role. Thanks for Gabriel dad, the Turkey was already in the oven so there was little else for me to do. So I reminded 2 kids to be careful running around, then I asked the male on the couch to come with me to store.

Once back then I asked him to help me in the kitchen while I made baked sweet potatoes. He of course complained (half joke, half real) that all he needs to do is work and bring in the money. Everything else is my job. Yeah right!

thanksgiving as step family
thanksgiving as step family

Soon dinner was done and we sat down to a family. He cut the Turkey while I took out the dishes, set the table and settled the kids down. As we sat there doing the family thing I started wondering if I could really do this. So far Gabriel daughter already claimed Daniel as her brother. So far she had no problems with me spending time with her dad. And Daniel? Huh. Daniel already made himself at home. So far so good

But still....

As I sat there, I heard them speaking Romain to each other. I wonder how that would for Daniel when he started to learn Korean? Would he feel weird? Would they feel weird with him speaking Korean instead of learning Romain? Heck, would I feel weird to hear my half Korean son speak Romain?!

me and Gabriel

And what about this women's role? Am I willing to give up some independence to be a wife and mother of 2 kids? What would being a mom to a little girl be like? How would I handle things with her mom?

And then there's Gabriel.... *sigh* In many ways he's changed and matured but in many ways he's still the same. For one, he likes to work. A lot. Am I going to be OK with him working 12 hrs 7 days a week? Would he would a good dad for Daniel? A good 3rd husband for me?

I dunno....

After dinner Gabriel invited us to spend the night...

Again, I dunno.....

In the end I decided to leave and come home. Partially because I had to many questions without answers. Partially because tomorrow is black Friday and I wanted to catch a sweet deal on a Xbox Kinect Bundle. The answers to my questions will have to wait till after I play a few games of Kinectimals with my son.

While it was nice to spend Thanksgiving as a family with others, for now I'm happy with our little family of just 2.

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Zen says:
at: November 26, 2011 at 7:25 PM said...

Sometimes we over think things...

Yakini @ThePrissyMommy says:
at: November 26, 2011 at 8:28 PM said...

I always love how you tell a story. I was on the edge of my seat from beginning to end, lol.

I guess the end to this one remains to be seen. :-)

MsXpat says:
at: November 27, 2011 at 5:31 AM said...

Youe righr, when it comes to decisions that will impact on our kids lives slowly slowly with the best approach untill you feel safe and sure you're ready for that leap.

Asianmommy says:
at: November 28, 2011 at 1:16 PM said...

Sounds like you had a nice Thanksgiving.

By the way, the kids are adorable!

at: November 28, 2011 at 4:04 PM said...

Sounds like a great story. I don't blame you for wanting to take it easy, you do have a son to consider. But overall, it's good that you had a fun Thanksgiving and the kids got along very well. If anything, friends could always be in the work.

Bicultural Mama says:
at: December 2, 2011 at 10:46 PM said...

Sounds like you had a fun and interesting Thanksgiving. As for the relationship, well, there's a lot to consider as you pointed out. But if things were meant to work out, maybe they'd happen organically, meaning it wouldn't seem like work? So who knows, maybe things will become more clear after a few more times hanging outl.