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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Choosing to Segregate Children

Recently I interviewed the ladies behind Interracial Family Organization, a website that focuses on ...duh...interracial families for the Euphoria Luv blog. While their not the only websites trying to highlight interracial families, after interviewing them I felt they we're trying to do something different, something modern, something inclusive.

I guess I was right cause they asked me to guest blog on their website. Yeah, I know! What are they thinking! LOL. You'd think after all the drama from some of my post about white women I'd be the last person they'd ask to to write for them. But they did...and despite my paranoia after what happened with the other IR website that asked me to blog for them only to keep me out in the fields, *ahem*, I accepted their offer.

My first article for them titled "Deliberately Choosing to Segregate Children" is sure to cause some drama but I'm hoping it will also cause some serious discussion. If readers can get past the knee jerk reactions I'm hoping a deep and thoughtful conversation will be started. Surf on over, take a read and share a thought

******Edited to add full article here******

Deliberately Choosing to Segregate Children

A little while back I was hanging out on twitter when another mom with a biracial child tweeted she was thinking of relocating and asked for suggestions of places to move her family. I suggested Portland, OR since a few years ago I visited, loved it, and thought about moving there myself.

This mom sent a follow up tweet asking how “white” is Portland, OR because she wanted her kids to be surrounded by “black” people everywhere. At this point I should mention this mom is white. I think she expected me to agree that half black children should be surrounded by the black community. Well, I certainly didn’t agree. Our follow-up tweets over this issue snow balled into a uncomfortable place racially for both of us. As a result we no longer tweet, blog visit, or even side eye each other.

Oddly, I understood the intention behind her question. This mom wanted her sons, who have a black heritage, to be more exposed to the African American community since currently they live in a predominately white area. I got it, I really did. But her question still left a bad taste in my mouth and heart.

To think of intentional limiting a child’s exposure to one or two racial communities is a bit upsetting. It’s sorta like someone deliberately choosing a form of segregation. As a mom also of a biracial child, I can’t see moving to Korea or any Asian country just because he “appears” more Asian than black. While I hangout within the Asian community, I don’t share the desire to limit my son’s exposure to only Asians or what he “looks” like.

I see my son as part of the larger mixed race/biracial community and try to expose him to all those experiences. But maybe I’m wearing rose colored glasses. Maybe sometimes children need to “see” people who look like them? What do you think about deliberate segregation? Can it ever been beneficial?


SeekingSanity says:
at: May 25, 2010 at 7:35 AM said...

well it seem you tryin to cause drama not good if other sites drop you from writing post that would make sense.i dont know the situation but from the comments you were straight up lying on seem very obsessed with the "appearance" of your son.even in the article you was talking about how he APPEAR korean as if that makes him less black.your son is MUTT not korean just cause you want him to be.but someone over there said that wasn't even what the lady on twitter was talking wasnt about her kid look.but you always gotta go on and toot your son look.and you lie when you say you dont try to force the korean side. all on twitter you always be talkin about taking him here and everywhere even church for korean. and bad talkin black women. they some people who mate outside of race bc of insecurities and you fo sure is one of them. your son is BLACK not korean. well at least they set the record straight on your dumb ass over there.

Nikki @ Mommy Factor says:
at: May 25, 2010 at 12:21 PM said...

SeekingSanity, Well Goodmorning to you also! I'm trying to figure out why the first thing you did this morning is come to my blog all hateful and jealous.

What is it the keeps you and others coming back here beating the same drums about race insecurities, my son's biracial (not black, not Korean) status and how awful I am...

FYI, Since that site mentioned only wanted to feature "white & other" interracial stories and not the whole range of interracial couples and families, I declined to be a guest poster. They did not drop me. Please fact check as I'm sure you're one of their supports *ahem*

Now I'm always open to hear views and opinions that don't match mine but comments like these, filled with faulty info and just plain mean spirited do not add anything to the discussion for this blog.

I explained the last time I will not allow comments that insult and use low grade language on this blog and will block any commentary doing so.

So now you're IP address is block and comments will now be moderated...something I seriously wanted to avoid but since ya'll can't respect the rules...Now can I get back to being my great self blogging about my wonderful biracial son? Ha

at: May 27, 2010 at 6:04 AM said...

seeking sanity, looks to me like you're the crazy obsessed one who's been stalking Nikki's blog entries like there's no tomorrow..i have been a long time reader of 'Blasian Baby Notes" and i for one can make out that Nikki identifies her son as a biracial kid(half korean and half black) the title of the blog if u're not says BLASIAN not KOREAN BABY NOTES.
i didn't get the part about the "church for korean" but if you're insinuating that Nikki takes Daniel to a Korean Church, i don't see what your problem is. He's part Korean so it makes sense that Nikki would want to try out a Korean Church. I'm glad Nikki's blocking your a&%. STOP STALKING Nikki!!! Get a life!