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Monday, January 4, 2010

Writing Challenge 4: The Resolution : Be Selfish

So I recently joined Write-Of-Passage in harmony with my 2010 resolution to be more selfish. This year I want to turn the focus back towards my creative self. I know it sounds bad but really being selfish can be a good thing. Almost life saving if you think about it.


Little by little over the years I learned about being selfish. When people think of the term, idea, action of selfishness it's in a negative way. To withhold in some manner is frown upon. But sometimes you need to withhold, sometimes it's better to keep for yourself, to put your interest first before others. Over the years I learned the hard way that giving without recharging will leave me...empty. If I'm empty then what good am I?

This year I want to live a selfish life. I want to return to putting myself and my interest before others. As a creative person my first aim is to pursue my goals, to give reality to my dreams and hopes. That is the one true purpose of my life. If I use most of myself doing something not related...then I am not living.

Since becoming a mother I've really been struggling with this concept. Motherhood can be considered the most unselfish role a woman can take upon herself. For years your life revolves around the needs of this little person. But for me I also see a way to pursue my goals.

My son has cemented my connection to a community I was only somewhat related to. While I shared the goal for awareness and support for the Asian and Black community, if I wasn't dating an asian man the issues didn't impact me as much.

But now I have a child who is a blend of both worlds. The need for awareness and support is woven into his life. As his mother his needs has become my needs. This year I put our needs first! I will make the promotion of this blog as well as our community blog where I put my energy. I will build a more aware world for my son. I will be selfish so my son can live as a regular person and not a rarity.

Read what other Write-Of-Passage participants had to say

3 comments:

Nicole says:
at: January 5, 2010 at 7:32 PM said...

You've earned the right to be selfish little missy! Your the hardest working mom/blogger I know! You'll be an even better mom once those creative juices get flowing. Happy new year!

Yakini says:
at: January 6, 2010 at 8:01 PM said...

Awesome blog! Yaaaay to being more "selfish" in 2010!!! As moms, we all need to learn to be that way just a little more!

Post-Modern Jen says:
at: January 7, 2010 at 10:52 PM said...

Hi Nikki,
I'm a fellow Write of Passage challenger, and I just had to see your piece when I read the title. I am a mom of two, and even though I understand that my life is very much consumed by the raising of my kids, I have not been able to get rid of my "selfish" streak. I still try to get every moment I can to myself. In fact, I feel like I need to be more self-less. Sometimes I feel like I'm with my kids but not always really there with them because I'm so busy with my own thoughts, do you know what I mean? Ooops, I didn't mean to make this such a long comment, but happy new year and good luck with your resolution!