Parenting alone is a scary thing. I'll be the first to admit it. Yes, I did choose to be a single parent but that doesn't make it any easier. Parenting is still hard work! Now that Daniel and I are "officially" on our own, after moving away from my family, I'm trying to learn to do things on my own as a parent.
In one it's a wonderful thing to be free to train and raise my son in my own way. No more bickering about what he's eating, wearing, or doing. The first and final say is mine! But in other ways it's a little stressful not to have a little backup when I need it. Now if I need something from the store I have to dress Daniel and take him. Doesn't matter if it's cold, rainy or late night. Also what little free time I use to have is all gone. From morning to night Daniel demands my attention. Now I am his sole distraction and playmate.
The one area I find this being a real problem is when I need to blog. Trying to develop a thought has become a challenge when I constantly have to stop and tend to him in some way. Writing one blog use to take me a few hours now it takes me a whole day. Since I'm already backup in some areas blog-wise you can see how frustrating this is becoming. Some paying blog projects have deadlines and if I cant meet the deadlines then there's no payment. That's not acceptable.
As a single parent one of the scariest things is the fear I cant provide for my son. From food to medical I need to be able to cover these basics. If I cant then panic will set in.
Matter of fact Linda, a blog friend, who's a single mom through adoption, recently wrote in her "Therapy Thursday - Are my Hot Thoughts Killing Me" about having such a panic attack when she couldn't find a medical bill to pay. In that blog Linda outline some ways to focus and reduce the panicking feeling when going through an anxiety attack.
I found that info so helpful. As a single mom I do need "tools" to help me figure things out. What I learned from my own family wont work for us since I want to parent differently. I want to learn how to parent so I can figure out what works best for MY family.