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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Building the Blasian Baby Community

There's lots of "behind the scenes" activity happening at Blasian Baby Notes. Besides the couples and families interviews, I'm working on other projects that will hopefully bring a wider awareness about the asian black community.

For example, maybe you caught sight of the new faces in the sidebar? Yup, I've harassed until they gave in...umm... I mean encouraged other moms of blasian children to join me in blogging here. I'm also trying to get a dad of a blasian child to join us in blogging here...so far it's still a work in progress. LOL


But for my current... please welcome the other moms to the blogging community. I won't get into their background and life stories cause if I did....then what would they have to blog about! I will say that both women are supportive of my idea to promote a positive image of the asian and black community.

Yes I'm still part of the Sweet Rice Chronicles and strongly support more black mothers of half asian children having an online voice. But I also want to give a voice to the other mothers and fathers (hopefully) with Asian and Black children.

As moms and dads of children with asian and black heritage, we want to spread awareness of our children and their unique community. We have the same fears and joys as other parents of mono-racial children. Hopefully by providing more voices on the Blasian Baby blog we can start to

1. Break down stereotypes
2. Spread awareness of the Asian Black Community and Families
3. Collectively find and share resources that benefit our community.

I hope my ideas will catch on and get the support it needs! I'm excited to share my different plans to have different cultures come together with one goal...building up the blasian baby community!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Passing On Ancestral Energy

Todays blog is a bit different since it deal more with me and not something cute and adorable Daniel has done. I don't think some of my readers will understand where I'm coming from but I know one or two will get me and the point of this blog.

Writing about this topic came to me while thinking over current convos my mother and I had. Being the over bearing grandma, my mom worries about Daniel being in daycare. I keep explaining that he'll adjust fine. If anything she should worry about the daycare. Since my son is no shrinking wallflower I know he socializes on and off during the day. I once again explain this to my mom...who thinks he's sitting in a corner crying and lonely. Yet again I point out my son strong personality reminding her of all the times he's stood up for himself in the playground.


These convos always lead to her saying she doesn't know who he takes after. She always comments that I was such a quiet child. I always chuckle to myself because my mom refuses to see our family traits in Daniel or for that matter in me. My mom forgets how she told stories of being the aggressive child that was always fighting or how she was always the one brave enough to try some new adventure. How is it that she can't see that she passed those genes on...

In my case it's probably cause my fathers genes are more dominant. My dad is a cool and collected type of man. Thus, I tend to have a cool sort of anger. I'm not the stand there and get loud type. Not that I can't or haven't, but I prefer to vent my anger in other ways and with results. But my mother's fiery angry genes are within me...as well as all the warrior type genes from my ancestors before her.

Naturally this mean that I have now passed those genes on to Daniel. I clearly see where he takes after me. But I clearly see where Daniel also takes after his father. I'm not too happy with some of these facts.

All this transferring of ancestral energy is kinda important because I believe that we carry that energy with us thru life. All the sorrow and joys of our family is passed on somehow to the next generation. Adding to this is the fact that as a black women I also carry the energy of my people...and all that it means.

I don't know if Daniel's dad carried the energy of his family with him. There is alot I don't know about Daniel dads life and history. Since Daniel's dad was adopted he carried around his own confused and angry energy on a different level them mine.


So now my son is filled with energy from his parents, from his ancestors and from his own actions as he goes thru life. But so far this energy shows it self as being more on the aggressive side. At first I thought it was just a child wanting his way but I'm realizing that this child that gets angry quickly and then hits or scratches is my child. This is who he is...

I'm left with the dilemma of what to do. He's still very young so some forms of discipline are not appropriate while other don't really send the msg I want to send. See alot of people deal with a child actions at that moment. I'm trying to reach my son so I can affect him for the rest of his life. It is not his fault he was born with aggressive energy...as it wasn't my fault I was born with the same...BUT I want to start teaching him that he can choose to work on it and become his own person.

It's taken me years and lots of work to get to the point where I am now. At the time no one had the answers so they could not help me. So, I was a very unhappy and angry child, teenager and young women. I lost years being wrapped up in the energy passed on to me until I stumbled on the answers that lead me to a different way of being.

As he grows I can only hope that all I've learned and will share will help Daniel to live a better life. Yes, a life better then his parents but also a life that helps soothe and comfort his ancestors on both sides so when it's his time to start his own family he can pass on positive ancestral energy.
Monday, July 27, 2009

Our Kids and Bilingual Learning

Cleaning out my inbox always yields some cultural related treasure. This weeks find is the website My Panda Paws



The site was started by two Chinese-American moms who wanted to pass on their heritage, culture, traditions and language to their children. Even though there are many bilingual products in the market already many of them did not meet the quality standards of thee moms. One of the things important to them...good translation. Seems many books in the market place tend to translate each word literally, and therefore many times losing the essence of the book.

As a mom I can understand the feeling behind their goal. After having a biracial child you look for ways to include all the parts that make your child whole. In a world that still views many things with mono-racial glasses seeing sites like this is encouraging.

Of course I ran all thru the website checking out how culturally aware their products are. I was pleasantly surprised to find that while the main theme of learning the chinese language and culture was...well the main theme...they included products by other cultures. More exciting is I found a few things that included *gasp* black images.


I'm loving this All About Me from the Lift the Flap book series. Now you probably don't understand how key this is on both sides of the kiddy spectrum. First seeing the black image introduces racial awareness to young children. I've read one to many articles about parents raising their children in isolation from other cultures.

Second, as a mom of a black and asian child I want him to see children in books and products that reflect his community, images he can relate to, products that mix both black and asian culture...sorta. Granted there's still a while to go before there's anything made specifically for the blasian community but until then...sites like this help.
Monday, July 20, 2009

First Day Adventures in Daycare

The long planned for and dreaded big day is here! Daniel is starting daycare today. Now I know I’m suppose to be proud my son is moving along in his developmental goals. I know I’m suppose to be excited about getting some "me" time to just ... breathe. After all doesn't the plan to complete my goals start with this one big step? So why was I holding back tears while riding the A train this morning.


The morning started off fine. I woke up early enough to make a full breakfast plus tripled check diapers, wipes, change of clothing and the stacks of paperwork are in order. Even though I had major anxiety about what to expect today... things went smoothly. Daniel went thru his morning rountine, eat his breakfast and even some of mine. LOL. We headed out the house and arrived at the daycare with no problems.

Matter of fact Daniel walked up in there like it's his usual hangout spot. As I talked to the daycare staff and manager, Daniel talked to the other babies in the room. He was so busy talking to them that he barely kissed me bye when it was my time to leave. This kid!

I think that was what started my icky feeling. When I left I had all this tension from expecting the drama of my son holding on to my legs, crying for his life... snot and all... while the daycare workers firmly pushed me out the door. I would then stand there racked with guilt about abandoning my only child while I pursue financial gain. Yeah I know! But this is the scence mothers have in our minds. Who tells us that our child might just *gasp* like daycare. Shucks!

So there I sat on the train heading towards my HRA Back to Work Class... holding back tears. I tried to tell myself I should be grateful things went smoothly. Clearly, I'm raising a child who tackles new experinces so well because he's well adjusted and confident. But while things were smooth for Daniel it wasn't smooth for me internally.

The main issue is that Daniel is having all these first important events back to back. Seems every month there is big developments happening. But I'm the only one bearing the emotional and mental strain of it.

Daniel was a planned project to be handled by two people. These two people, called parents, are suppose to support and encourge each other during these key momemts in the projects, called a child, lifes course. At least that's my understanding of the "lets make a baby" presentation I heard before I signed on for this project!

Today at daycare I should have been the crying frantic mother who is comforted by the calm and proud father. I should have the opportunity to fully feel the loss of my son's babyhood as he wobbles towards being a toddler. But when your a single parent there is no split. You have to be both parts...both parents...the male and the female. May sound very sad for me but I keep in my mind the good thing about taking on both roles. I think of that well adjusted child who didn't have time to kiss me goodbye because... he was to busy enjoying his first day at daycare
Saturday, July 11, 2009

Autism in the Black Mommy Community

Ever got a msg to test your child for autism? One mommy friend of mine, who has an autistic child sent me a msg recently encouraging me to test Daniel for autism. Some might feel he’s a bit young for testing. Yet early detection plays a key role in helping a child get the needed services and support.


Many famous black moms like Holly Robinson Peete and Toni Braxton have spoken out on what its like being a mom of an autistic child. Holly Robinson Peete gave a interview about the need for World Autism Day while Toni Braxton made a video to urge more parents to be familiar with the “red flags” for autism

We as African American/ African Caribbean moms are not faceless when dealing with this issue. Even on a non-celebrity level info and support can be found. Lorraine, the mom who sent me that timely reminder, has a website and has produced her own video.

When it comes to autism within the black community… early diagnosis is key. I don’t like to say this but black children’s health…especially black little boys are not always priority within the health community.

Since autism seems to affect boys at a large rate then girls moms with boys should educate themselves about warning signs. But a lot of black moms are either not told about these signs or are brushed aside when voicing concerns about our children’s development. As black mothers I encourage you to push to get the same medical information and intervention as non-minority mothers. Also, as black moms of biracial kids our input is also needed so future research will benefit kids of mixed heritage.


So where to start? Inform yourself!

For example did you know there is a wide spectrum of being autistic. Most people are familiar with a child being unresponsive but a child could also be what is referred to as high function. To best detect if your child may be autistic and under what range please...observe your child for key warning signs and if necessary get your child tested.

Even after being diagnosed there’s a lot to learn, resources out there and people dedicated to providing services. Check out Autism Classroom a site that believes

parents are the child's first teachers, this site is for you too! On this site you will be able to find out helpful information about autism, view our online training, take "classes" with our web training class, request consultative support, download tons of free materials, post a question, message or response at our Chatboard message board, and listen to our audio podcasts

There is also tons of info at Austism Society of America and Autism Speaks.

I am very grateful to the moms of autistic children for sharing info and awareness and the joy of their children despite dealing with the challenges of autism. While I knew a little bit about autism after spending time with these moms and their families I’ve learned much more.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Thanking Koreans with 1800Flowers.com

How can you say thank you beyond the usual ways? This was the question on my mind after the last two weeks events. When I think over all the things that Young Mi and Thomas have done for me and Daniel I’m overwhelmed by their kindness.



Many people might look at my photos with them and think…of course they’re nice to her. The kid is half korean AND asian looking. But understand that when I started working at Samsung all they knew about me was that I was black and female. They knew nothing about my connection with the asian community and definitely nothing about me dating asian men. It’s not like I walk around with a sign or something.

The bond form between me and my korean co-workers over the months was based on human to human interaction and cultural exchange. They asked me questions about black culture and I asked them for kimchi. LOL.

They did not have to share their kimchi, invite me into their homes or share their culture. Thomas was really being a friend when he lent me his son’s hangbok not once…but twice…for Daniel to wear. As a team, they’ve always been willing to be there for me whenever I’ve asked. So I needed something that showed them how touched I was by all they’ve done for us. What better way then with flowers from 1800Flowers.com?

While this seemed like a simple enough idea, the actual ordering of the flowers turned into an adventure. Nothing with me is ever simple right?

After getting a sales rep on the phone I hit a speed bump when the discount code I used wasn’t being applied to my order. It wasn’t 1800flowers.com fault. Seems I was using a coupon code from months ago. See what happens when you let things lay around?

But my sales rep was amazing. He also went above and beyond. He contacted the division that handles the codes and tried to work things out with them. When it seemed it would take longer to fix then planned…and hearing the rising panic in my voice…he took my number, explained he would continue to work on it and when everything was finalized then he’s call me back.

And he did…just in time to save me from having an anxiety attack. After he confirm all info, he assured me my order of three bouquets will be delivery same day. Wow, talk about service.

Later I received an email from Young Mi telling me how beautiful the flowers are and how much she, her mother (one bouquet was for her) and Thomas loved the flowers along with photos of them…cause she knew I’d want to see =).

Huge thank you to 1800Flowers.com and my sales rep for helping me thank my Korean friends in style!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Designer Toni Tierney First Blasian Model

I meet Toni Tierney while hanging out on twitter. We shared tweets about the fashion industry, being positive influences in life and hey what you doing today mgs. Just two women chatting it up. Why didn't someone tell me Toni Tierney is the creative force behind the designer baby clothes company Toni Tierney Designs?!


For being a famous person Toni is very down to earth, warm and friendly. She's so friendly that during one of our tweeting sessions I mentioned I'd be happy to do a review of one of her baby outfits to spread the work about her company. Toni sent a tweet back that I should email her my address along with Daniel’s size and she'll send one right out. Imagine my surprise while surfing her website when I found out

(1) Toni's designer baby clothes are featured in many stores and on-line boutiques everywhere.

(2) Toni's designer baby clothes have been spotted on the famous little bodies of Tori Spelling and Jamie-Lynn Spears babies.

Clearly after being in business for over 17 years, Toni did not need my review to "spread the word" about her company. LOL. But being Toni, she sent an outfit for Daniel to wear and for me to review.

(click photo for larger version)

So with excitement I waited for the outfit and when it arrived I was surprised once again. Now alot of people don't know two things about me.

(1) I'm a Buddhist

(2) I've worked in different areas of the fashion industry, so I know a bit about clothing quality.

I could see right away that Toni's clothes are made in the USA of 100% quality cotton knit for a child's comfort and wearability. Then I noticed the theme of the outfit... Peace, Love, Truth. I don't know if Toni chose this outfit specifically for me but it was a perfect theme for Daniel to wear cause his mommy truly believes in those themes.

(click photo for larger version)

What I also noticed are the little details like the peace sign decorating one of the pants leg. How sweet! Of course I dressed Daniel and took him outside for my very own baby photo shoot. He's clearly a natural in front the camera. He even gave my sexy over the shoulder looks. I swear I didn’t teach him that. LOL.

I think he's the first blasian baby to model a Toni Tierney outfit. But since I'm have a giveaway of this exact 2 piece outfit in size 12 months, now your baby has a chance to sport this look and be just as adorable as Daniel. Hurry over and enter my Toni Tierney giveaway =)